Eleventybillion skeins

Puttin' my money where my mouth is ...

2010-07-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

So I invested in 10 lbs of locally grown, organic blueberries! Not only do blueberries contain nutrients that may shrink Breast Cancer tumors, but Triple Negative Cancers to boot!

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/news/ci_14939840

I don't have a tumor to shrink, but why not eat things that attack cancer cells? I have been trying to go as organic as I possibly can (being in Flatlandia, it AIN'T easy), and these blueberries are DECADENT! It was wonderful having the 10 lb box next to me in the car, because I just munched on handful after handful as I drove around town doing my errands.

I find it so frustrating that here we live in one of the most productive agricultural regions of the US, and all you see for miles and miles is corn and soybeans, grown for animal feed and oils. And those two oils are major components of all of the prepackaged crap food that is plaguing this country. Those two oils are SO not good for you! Yet, these are the crops that are subsidized to be grown. Here we are in some of the most fertile soils in this country, and it is almost impossible to find organic produce, and once you do find it, you pay through the nose for it, because well, it is the only thing to be had, and there is no real competition.

What we here in Flatlandia would do for a Trader Joe's or Whole Food's!

So the new thing going on around here is that our appliances are dropping dead left and right. We have been fighting the washer for 2 months now ... the thing has been eating capacitors like candy. It was only a matter of time before the transmission blew. AND that happened the other night WHILE MY CLOTHES WERE WASHING. Everyone in this house BUT me, gets nice clean clothes on a regular basis ... but my clothes, just pile up until I have a free moment to do them -- which means once in a blue moon. Well, that blue moon rose last weekend, and I will be damned if that was not the night that Mister Wash-a-lot decided to up and die. I am not tied to this washer, as it is only 6 years old ... but that is my problem with this whole ordeal ... THE WASHER JUST TURNED SIX YEARS OLD! I think that over the past 6 years, we have fixed it at least 6 times ... and you know what? I am sick of it. Perhaps I would be less annoyed if this would not have happened right before we were to go on vacation ...

So tonight, hubby is staying home with the boys so I can go hang out in Laundromat Heaven for several hours .... Because of the dead washer, I will be sitting in a laundromat tonight, washing our FIVE GARBAGE BAGS OF CLOTHES ... Two are wet and starting to mildew ... and as I sit there I will be thinking about my girlfriends maxin' and relaxin' at a girl's night dinner! :-( At first I thought I was going to have SIX bags of laundry, but I decided that I could cram the contents of that sixth bag into two other bags and call that "an extra large load" for one of those huge front loaders to do.

Tomorrow, the "fixit dude" is supposed to come to DIAGNOSE the problem (and not FIX it, because well, you know, that would just make sense to fix it at the same time....!), and if what he sees to fix is over $25 (we think the transmission is blown this time), we (hubby) is going to have to run out and go buy a washer that we saw that was marked down over 50%. It is one of those top of the line front loaders, and it was originally about $1000, they have it marked down to like, $400! I never thought that we would EVER have the chance nor money to get a really nice front loader, and it is not like we have $400 bucks just laying around to spend ... but there are only so many weeks that I am willing to go to the laundromat, and there are just so many times that we are going to pour money into a P.O.S. (piece of SHIT) washing machine to fix it.

SO not only do I miss a night out with my girls, I get to sit for several hours with Flatlandia's Finest Residents, AND we get to drop about $500 the night before we leave for vacation! I guess the positive way to look at the is that same wind that blew the transmission up in the old machine, also blew open the door of a new front loader....

Important Side note: I have no bias what-so-ever towards people who have to use laundromats. In fact, I grew up not having a washer and dryer in my home, and my mom and I went to the laundromat every week. Just smelling the intermingled soap smells, and sounds of the washers and dryers in different cycles sends me to a very happy, relaxed place of my childhood. All I am saying is that the particular user clientele of a 24-hour laundromat varies dramatically during the day -- the people you find between the hours of 8am and 3 pm are completely different than those you find using the facilities between the hours of 8 and 11 pm. I'm just sayin'.

I will be sure to take my camera and cell phone.

OH, and Big Boy had a 102 fever last night.

seriously, we are totally ROCKING this week in style, aren't we?

And all I wanted was one of those goat cheese tapas with the girls tonight!

As for my continued treatments, I am still on the hook to start Radiation ... they just have not called me to tell me when yet.

How funky is your Chicken?

2010-05-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a very VERY long time since I last posted. On one hand, it seems as though my world has kind of halted in it's tracks ... but in reality, it hasn't. Life does go on, but it will NOT allow it to go on without me. The past few months have been an intensive cocooning kind of phase for me. LOTS of introspection ... lots and lots of it. I go into these "cocoons" each time a life changing events happens to me.

During this cocoon time, I have been reading and researching, and listening to others, and I have learned a lot. A LOT. For the past 2 months I have been re-learning how to look at food, and nutrients, and exercise. I say "re-learning" because dude, I was pretty damned healthy before all of this happened. Lived a fairly vegetarian lifestyle, exercised, kept active, and this shit still caught up with me. Since I have already been through the months of "why me", I decided to think "why not me" and started taking apart my lifestyle bit by bit. What I learned was this...

1) toxins -- toxic people and toxic foods, out of my life. I have endured and ignored a certain constant toxicity level for many years. I may have ignored it in my mind, but my physical being, my body, and my brain were still subject to it. Stress, and negativity do a lot of damage to a body. Couple that with the toxins in the food I was inadvertently consuming ... ugh ... Organic meats, and severing all toxic relationships ... I will be holding no more toxic relationships with either anymore

2) balance -- balance in my emotional life, and nutritional life. I now plan what I eat every single day to keep my omega 3s and 6's in balance. I read somewhere that the typical American diet is WAY unbalanced when it comes to the types (qualities) of fats we consume. The omega 3's are sometimes 40 times lower than the omega 6's, and this leads to and perpetuates inflammation. Chronic inflammation leads to a host of diseases, including cancer. I am also thinking about taking up meditation. I need to quell the sore spots left by the toxic burns.

3) sugars -- the body can make the sugars it needs from the break down of the fats and etc we consume. When we constantly consume too much sugar (from refined flours, sugars etc) we spike our insulin, and push our bodies toward insulin resistance -- when cancer is active and growing rapidly, it feeds on these excess sugars in our bloodstream. Contrasts used in MRI's etc. are sugar (sucrose based) because areas of increased cellular activity take up the sugar more readily than the slower growing surrounding tissue. I now keep track of my daily Glycemic Load and keep it under 100.

4) Fats -- a recent study showed that people with my kind of cancer (the perfect trifecta, triple negative (borrowed from Jennifer)) showed that people who keep their total fat intake to 20% of their daily calories reduced recurrence by 40% or so. Additional exercise reduced it a further 45% ... 20% is NOT easy. Matter of fact, I have to aim for 15%, and then realistically, I will hit 20%.

These are changes that I can easily adapt to my life that will not only make my body a healthier body, but it all will make my life better for the future. I will on a daily basis be a healthier, happier, more balanced person after all of this.

As for knitting ...

At some point during all of this, by beautiful boxes of roving arrived from the Mill. I have not yet had the energy or inspiration to touch it. That makes me sad. I cannot wait to be back to my old self again. Knitting kind of fell to the way-side as well. I did finish my grandmothers sweater, and it was gorgeous. My Etsy shop has been doing well, and I need to sit down and make up some new markers, and earrings ... but once again, I have been feeling totally uninspired. I know a lot of this comes from the toll that the chemo is taking on my brain and body. Since I have only one more treatment, I will let this blah feeling sit here for one more week, but after that, I will be throwing open the windows and letting this chemical fog blow out!

Friday will be my last Taxol treatment. Then, a few weeks after that, my port will be removed possibly along with my ovaries. Then, a few weeks after that, radiation will start. The only thing out of that gory list I am looking forward to is removal of my port. I am so thankful to have had it, but I am even MORE grateful to see it go.

3 years ago today ...

2010-02-28T06:47:00.000-08:00

you were born, my sweet baby boy. You came so fast, and effortlessly .... I never thought of you as my last baby. In light of current events, you are, and always will maintain your rank as "the baby" of the family. You were such a "hold me" baby. You would just sleep so soundly as people held you .. but put you down :-) and you'd get SO upset. Oh you were so cuddly. And you had the most beautiful head! Must have been the fast delivery ;-) You have grown up so much in the past year ... you are still so cuddly and sweet, and you get sweeter every single day. You are going to be such a neat person as you grow up!

I love you so much, my sweet boy. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy!

CRTL+Z

2010-02-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

Please follow this link after reading the following events of this morning ....

The hubby and I had a similar thing happen this morning ...

Except OURS revolved around him standing in the driveway, with a bogged down snow blower and a partially shredded bag of trash (diapers included) that had been tossed off-offhandedly into the driveway, rather than carried the additional 8 feet to the garbage can ....

He actually told me that he stood there, and was angry for a moment because he did not know who to blame ...

hmmmm, let's see ....

Really? Blame? Really? Could blame be justly applied here? Maybe I am being unfair?

Let's be fair, shall we?

Let's think....

Maybe it was because of ....

ME -- because I asked him "hon, can you please take out the garbage and the compost bin?"

or well, maybe, it was because of ....

HIM -- because it was waaaay too much expectation to assume that TWO things could get done simultaneously ... let's see ... let's "man think" for a moment shall we? ... "I cannot believe that she asked me to do TWO things. Not ONE ... but TWO. (Insert various groans, whines, and squeaks) ... Well, I could dump the compost bin right here by the back door because it is so hard to walk out back and dump it in the pile ... but drat, she might notice it if I dumped it all right here in the driveway. Oh! OH! But OH! I can take the compost out back and dump it, and I can throw the bag over there and get it some other time because it would SAVE SO MUCH TIME if I did not have to walk the bag over to the can!" Picture garbage bag being dropped in the driveway, 6 feet from back door, and 8 feet from the garbage can. Because it was dropped in the driveway, this erases it's need to be dealt with at all, right? Right?

Next ... picture it snowing all night long.

hmmmm, had it only had not snowed, covering up his thus-ly erased from the universe, full garbage bag.

So obviously, in the end, it was all my fault, because I asked him to do TWO things instead of, hmmm, ZERO?

Poor sweet child

2010-02-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

Okay ... I just have to say it. I don't know what is going on in Decatur, but it seems as though a large percentage of the folks smoke Crack while generating their baby names ...
Deonee Dayquowun Angel. Good lord.

If I hear KLG, or Hoda (or anyone for that matter) say "Who dat" one more time ....

Winter Again. Can't say I really mind it really.

2010-02-09T04:48:00.000-08:00

:: okay, so the weather dude is hyperventilating about the "almost 4 inches of snow we got", and now EVERYTHING is closed down here today. Then he pops up the snow total graphic, and it shows 2.8 inches of snow for here and surrounding areas. You know, I am all for rounding ... but when did rounding 2.8 to 4.0 become an acceptable part of data collection?

2009-12-21T13:50:00.000-08:00

A wonderful friend of mine sent me a card, wishing not only that I get better soon, but she also wishes towards my Dr. Looking like McSteamy ...

my reply ...

My Dr. is so the opposite of being McSteamy, that he should just be called Sir Frozen Sands.

He's a good Dr., he's just not a good LOOKING Dr.

Too bad, because a little bit of eye-candy along this shitty route in my journey would be MUCH appreciated at this point. Considering I am getting sexier and sexier, day by day, perhaps it would be best if he were blind...

I will be finding out Wednesday what my chemo regimen is going to be. Fun fun, I find that out a hour or so before the surgery to put in my port.

Since I am BRCA1+, we are going to have to do a oomph. sometime after chemo is over. The nurse called today to let me know that the sono showed my ovaries are clear (thank GOD because I could not have taken one single grain more of bad news), BUT, she said "yup, the only thing that we saw were the little eggs in the right ovary ... so thank goodness nothing else."

I know this is good news ... and I am deeply happy, and appreciative of it.

Although I know I will have to have them removed to significantly decrease my risk for Ovarian cancer, the whole "ovary removal issue" is still really sore spot to me. Cancer, the gift that just keeps on giving...

F'ing Cancer.

must change mind frame .... ADD SOME KNITTING CONTENT ....

okay, well I have been working on these languishing stripey socks now for way too long. I really like the socks, and how they are turning out (I like the first sock striping colors better than the second, actually...) but, morphine brain made it hard for me to correctly execute a k1, p1 round. It was sad. I vividly remember laying there in my hospital bed, listening to my bunk mates, Denny and family squabble, and I was having to CONCENTRATE on the k1, p1.

That was the hot pink/orange stripe section of the sock. I do not recommend knitting on Morphine. I have now turned the heel, and I am in the home stretch on the foot. I will try to make way on it tonight. I really want to be done with my thinking knitting projects when i start Chemo, because chemo brain is not supposed to be fun. I am going to try to start spinning up the copious amounts of fiber I have, over the next few months.

the gift that just keeps giving

2009-12-21T05:03:00.000-08:00

Since I am BRCA1+, the nurse called today to let me know that the sono showed my ovaries are clear (thank GOD because I could not have taken one single grain more of bad news), BUT, she said "yup, the only thing that we saw were the little eggs in there, so thank goodness nothing else."

Now I know this is good news ... but this lady does not know that I am a 39 year old mom who, up to the day before I found my lump, was thinking BABY at 40, NOT CANCER at 40. Although I know I will have to have them removed to significantly decrease my risk for Ovarian cancer, the whole "ovary removal issue" is still really sore spot to me. Cancer, the gift that just keeps on giving...

2009-12-20T13:00:00.000-08:00

I fell like I have been drafted into a war that i have no interest in participating in.

At all.

Now, i am going to HAVE TO FIGHT, in order to stay alive.

THEY will arm me with the weapons,
and that ammunition will work, or not work.

Some of it is up to me ... a lot of it is up to how the enemy will react to it all.

I feel like a soldier standing next to the ship about to cast off to who knows where.
Weighted down with only my thin camos, and a backpack, and memories of those I have left behind, because ultimately, i am in this alone.

There are too many babies in this line with me too.

Those babies should not have to fight in this war too.

There are old people too, but they look at me with eyes that sadly say, "yah I am here too, but I am armed with wisdom and peace gained only from seeing a lot of what crap life can shoot you.."

Then there is me.

I just don't belong here.
and there are too many, just like me, who are here.

I feel like once i set foot on that ship, I might not ever be able to set foot on this shore again.

Once i leave and start this battle, I will be leaving this particular of my life behind.

No matter how hard i fight, and no matter if I win

when and if I get off this ship again,
my life will never be the same again.

I have spent practically the entire day sitting on the sofa.
not wanting to move.

Tears occasionally sliding down my cheeks and soaking into the pillow i lay back on.
My little big bot has sat here with me too.
Curled up and keeping my feet warm.

Dying is NOT an option.
It just isn't.

Pill Popping Pests....

2009-12-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

I hope that this message reaches you in good health, and in the midst of enjoying the warm tidings of the Holiday Season.

I have been wanting to updates all has been going on here, but each week has brought with it more Dr. visits, and more waiting.

We have been through a lot of, "Well, NEXT week we will know more about “X ...". Then, the next week they tell you "X", but then you need to wait because all that hinges on finding out"Y", and well you cannot find out about "Y" until the week after that....

The stress and waiting game with this is simply exhausting.

Because I want to try to keep people somewhat current, I am going to send you what I have at the moment...

My bilateral mastectomy was Dec. 2nd, I was fortunate that I got to stay 2 days in the hospital. Apparently some folks go home the next day. Yeah, WHATEVER. I would have tried it stay and additional day, but my roommate was insane, and her uncle (Denny) was wasted on some sort of pills. I learned his name, and of his particular predilection for popping pain pills as he and his post-op niece, were playing cards, and shouting at each other over their oh-so-annoyingly-jaunty, LOUD, and never ending, ring tones. I decided it was time for me to go when Uncle Denny kept stumbling through the room at all hours of the night, using the privacy curtain at the foot of my bed as some kind of suspended crutch. He would shuffle into the room, and grasp onto it to steady himself an kind of glide-walk across the room -- dragging the whole length of the curtain to the end of it’s track, leaving the whole length of the curtain gathered up at the end of it’s track RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. MY. TV. One would think that if he were that high, that he would have had the capability to just float right on through ... had I not been snapped up on Morphine, and scratching at myself like a drug-addict myself, I would have asked him to fix the curtain. I decided it best to stay to myself, punch that Morphine button and call the nurse to fix my curtain again.

I will be having out-patient surgery on December 23rd, to have a main-line port put in. Hopefully, I will not run into my pill popping pal again.

My chemotherapy treatments will start Thursday, Jan 6th. We will be meeting with the Oncologist next week, and at that time we will be deciding between two chemotherapy's (FEC or AC/T); the longest of which will involve about 20 weeks of treatment. We do not yet know the weekly frequencies of the treatments, nor the names of all of the wonderful anti-nausea drugs that I am going to be taking during that time frame. This we will know in the next few weeks.

Something I learned over the past 2 weeks?
1) Morphine makes it almost IMPOSSIBLE to pee and it makes you itch like you would not believe.
2) Going straight from Morphine to High doses of Vicodin effectively STOPS your bowels in their tracks.
3) Pain killers totally remove your short term memory.

Oh, and did I tell you that pain killers totally remove your short term memory?

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!

Beaver Caps.

2009-12-16T14:03:00.000-08:00

F'ing ovary sono today.

It will be the 3rd appointment out of the 4 I had today.

Was at the hospital form 9 to 3 pm.

The Trans-vag sono ... it SUCKED.

Seems like he payed a LOT more attention to the right ovary, than the left.

This does NOTHING for my peace of mind.

Yet another STRYKER bed was waiting for me there too,

And for some reason they had the words "Beaver Caps" written on the dry-write board in the exam room ... I was going to ask ... but then the gravity of the reason of why I am there, hits me, and silences me. The gravity of it all hits me square in my chest, and knocks every single positive funny thought and feeling out of me.

Beaver Caps ... could they be hair nets for the crotchtal region?

Not nice to drop bombs on folks who are already living day to day.

2009-12-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

My Bilateral mastectomy (12/2).

Now that my right arm does not go numb right away with using the mouse.

Last night, the bomb was dropped on me (non-chalantly might I add) that I was triple negative. It was wedged in there with the brush-off statement of "well, since those ovaries are going to have to come out" ... bubbling out of the 8-9 month pregnant genetic counselor. She must have forgotten she is talking to a 39 year old mom of a 2 and 4 year old, and did I mention that the biggest thing on my mind when i found this lump last month was "so IF I do get pregnant in the next month or so, I can still have the baby by the end of next summer, and so what if I will be 40...". Baby at 40 was the biggest thing on my mind ... not BIG FAT FUCKING NASTY AGGRESSIVE CANCER at 40.

F this.

I am scared beyond words, because we have no family nearby to help with the kids...dunno how we are going to do that yet ... but I really need to keep my HEAD in the right place so I can focus on getting better.

My tumor was apparently 5mm from the chest wall, and they "said" clear margin of 5mm. The oncologist is going to discuss with the Rad. Guy whether or not radiation will be needed ... seems like Oncology man is possibly thinking not? At this point, I will not mind if the Radiation Guy decides to recommend it, because this might be my one chance to catch any stray cells. Only one node, the sentinel node, was affected. they removed 11 more nodes and none showed and cancer ... can i just trust that? I dunno.

I will be calling my Breast Cancer Center today or tomorrow and asking them why I have not been hooked up with the dietitian they speak of ... I found out yesterday I currently weigh 113. I loose weight like mad under stress...

Where is my mind?

2009-12-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

Sitting there in the pre-op "cell", waiting for the nurse to bring in another bed. I guess since they know I am going to be in that bed a awhile, they are going to get me a more "comfortable" one. Whatever comfortable would be, as it is a hospital bed, for God's sake.

She wheels it in ...

It has STRYKER emblazoned across the base.
the first thing that came to my mind? Jeffry Stryker.

WTF? Thanks a lot, undergrad roomies :-) I hear your voices in my head goofily going "Jeeefffrrrrrrry Stryyyyykeeerrrrrrr says hiiiiiiiiiiii..."

I tell the nurse I have never had an IV before. She blinks at me, looks at my charts and says, "you have two children?". Had them naturally ... the last one took 20 minutes .... she blinks, and says that she is not going to let a student do my IV, as she does not want it to be bad for me, she wants it to be done well...

I am so happy for this.

She does it well, she used lidocane injection first, and I hardly feel a thing.
I want to hung her afterward, because this might be the last time that something like that is done with compassion.

and another

2009-11-25T05:01:00.000-08:00

my surgery is slated for December 2nd. I was dx with IDC a couple of weeks ago. It sounds like there are two lumps, close together ... and side by side, the whole affected area is a little over 4cm. No oconotype yet, nor have I been told a stage or anything (is that weird?). Perhaps they are waiting until after surgery to determine all of that? i have heard that sometimes the whole mass is not necessarily cancerous, sometimes only internal portions of the mass... I have had an MRI that showed one possible swelled lymph node (~1cm), but no other body involvement (yet? That whisper terrifies me). Also had a chest x-ray, showed "nothing".

Because of a strong family history, and this size of the mass, I am going to have a mastectomy ... and maybe a bilateral if my BRCA tests come back positive. I am a mental mess. I have had nothing but aches and pains since the diagnosis, and every time a different Dr. goes to feel on my arm-pit lymph nodes, they seem to ache for days after. The new annoying "pain" is that my lower-mid back has been aching, and I swear I feel like I am ovulating (no periods though because I have Mirena IUD, which is coming out Monday). I slept on a heating pad last night because I was thinking that perhaps this is all tension that is making my back hurt. I am so scared that there is something growing on my kidneys, or ovaries, but at the same time, I feel like an ass if I call up the Dr.'s office because what can they do really? Would a urinalysis really show them anything useful? My operation is going to be in one week, and the next 2 days are holidays ... Seriously ... mention a body part, and concern, and I swear it will ache. Wouldn't it be good for them to know if there is something else growing somewhere else? Or is it best to get this first operation out of the way, then move on to the CT/PET scans to determine if there was any spread?

I am rambling, i know.

I am just so scared.

I cannot believe how fast this thing appeared out of no-where.

Scared senceless

2009-11-18T14:08:00.001-08:00

Nov.6 -- Last Friday, I found a painful lump in my breast. Got a mammo that day.

Nov. 11 -- Tuesday morning i had a core biopsy done.

Nov. 13 -- Thursday morning, the results came back positive for Breast Cancer. IDC.

Nov 18 -- Tomorrow, I am scheduled for an MRI, and Friday I learn more about what we are dealing with. Took the BRCA1/2 genetic test yesterday.

By Friday we will know for sure what we are dealing with, surgery is slated for December 2nd.

I am 39, and my babies are only 4 and 2.5 years old.

They have estimated "It" is probably about 2 cm ...

I am scared beyond senseless.

I spend my days trying to hold it all together as I spin haphazardly through my "5 stages of grief".

I went through Rage yesterday. Depression again today.

Every single ache and pain I feel makes me freak out even more because I think "oh God, why is my back hurting? Has the Cancer spread there? And was that a twinge I just felt in my "ovary region"?.

I know I am not sleeping well at night, and our mattress totally sucks, both attributing to all of my stressed out aches and pains ...

I know I am rambling ... but as I sit here trembling, with tears streaming, i know, or I am hoping, that maybe someone out there knows how I am feeling.

I can hear that my babies are up and awake form their naps, but here I hide because I am afraid to go up there, where they will see the tears and terror in my eyes, and again ask me "What is wrong mommy? Why do you cry?".

Circular weather ... Partly cloudy, with intermittant showers and storms.

2009-11-14T16:41:00.000-08:00

At least the depression has gone to being intermittent for now. It is more off than on. I can handle that. After a day full of appointments yesterday, I am a little glad to have today off. I made it well into our third appointment (and hour and a half maybe?) before breaking down and completely falling apart. Today, I at least lasted until we had gotten back in the car after our trip to the hardware store.

"No Mister Lowe's worker, I am not crying because I am upset that you don't have any 20 AMP, 3 pole light-switches in stock..."

I think we have appointments every day this week, except for Monday.

MRI is Thursday, results Friday.

Surgery slated (penciled) for December 2nd.

I just want to know what it is that we are up against.

I heard one single cricket cautiously chirping in the cold, as I stood outside of the car, yesterday afternoon.

An eerie silence...

2009-11-12T10:13:00.001-08:00

Immersed in a vast, cold, and sleepy fog of the days after the mammograms and manipulations. The intense fear of Cancer was shouting at me then, and I could barely hold it together enough to take a god-damned breath. 5 days ago.

Three days later ... right after the biopsy, an eerie silence, and peacefulness entered my life. But was I still hearing the whisper of Cancer Crickets? That was two days ago.

Today I found out that this eerie silence was truly The Calm, before the Great Storm.

Here I am. Go ahead and try to ignore me.

2009-11-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

Those ghostly, shadowy figures on the sonogram. Everything positioned just right, so that the one being “sonoed” can’t really see what is being imaged.

I craned my head around just enough, and I saw it. It. BEEP! Longitudinal view of It. BEEP! Transverse view. BEEP! moving across now to the one tip. BEEP! Now tracing along It’s axis to the other tip. BEEP! Now back to the middle and trace side to side to get It’s girth. BEEP! BEEP!

With each image that is captured (the beeps), they are collecting information to get dimension, and It’s mass. I see her activate the cursor on the final image and change the white numbers to something like 3cm x 4cm ..... my mind kind of shut off at that point.

The phantom pains after the manipulations, seemed it wake It up. It seemed to be poking me back. Like, “here I am ... you found me and decided to mess with me, so HERE I AM. Had you just let me sleep, then I could have just gone on being quiet.” Kept me from sleeping the first two nights. Most of the pain I think was in my mind ... but still.

From the woman who never wins ANYTHING.

2009-09-04T11:13:00.001-07:00

To the woman who has mysteriously won something this month too.

I am starting to get a little worried here. Seriously. When I say I usually win NOTHING I mean Nothing at ALL. Now, just in case someone jumps out of the woodwork here, and points to my past and screams "LIAR!", I will clarify my statement and say that yes, I did once win something by calling my local radio station. What I won, way back then, from 92-X FM back home, was a cassette tape of Was (not was). Oh, you say you don't remember who Was (not was) was? Really? You mean you are not hip (OLD) enough to remember this song? Uum, yes ... I was 17, and yes, I /we used to jump up and do the dance along with it too...

Now, I know that there are plenty of BETTER clips of that song out there, but the thing i LOVED about it is that it caught the cheesy "Friday Night Videos" intro that we all thought was SOOOO COOOL back then! I would get in trouble for dancing all over my room and singing at 1 in the morning to the videos. We had MTV on the CABLE in the basement, but I was scared to be in the basement by myself after dark, and well, MTV was reserved for watching when I had sleep overs and such. Anyone remember the push-button cable boxes with the 200 ft of cord?

Yet, I digress. Back to how I don't win anything, ever.

So last night my husband comes home and announces that the Apple Store here in town is having a raffle, and they are raffling off a brand new MacBook Pro. And I sez "that would REALLY freak me out and make my day cuz I REALLY wants one of those...". So on the car ride over to the Apple store, I am looking at the flyer at all of the cool stuff they are raffling off, and I realize that I don't even know what half of the cool techno gadgetry even IS. There is a Blue Microphone Eyeball (huh?), and a M-Audio Torq (what what?), and something cool sounding called a Flip Pure Digital Ultra. So I tell my husband that this "Ultra Pure Flip thingie sounds really neat", and even though I don't know what it is, perhaps it would be neat to win one because then I actually have the opportunity to learn what it is and how to use it....

So we get there, and sign up for the raffle drawings.

I won the Flip Pure Digital Ultra!

I freaked OUT.
Totally, FREAKED out.
OMG I am in LOVE!

Hooooo-leeeeeee COW!

2009-08-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

Growing up where I did, and when I did ... 4-H was a BIG thing when I was in school. LOTS of people in my school were in 4-H, and we used to go to the Fair (mostly the County Fair ) to go see the things they entered. When they really hit it big, they were going to the State Fair. Thing is, I was NEVER really "allowed" into that echelon of 4-H'ers, and competition goers, because, well, i did not live on a farm. I didn't have bunnies, guinea pigs, or cows or horses to show. I had a couple of gerbils ... meh...not so exciting of a show animal.

Well, earlier this year I went upstairs and was digging around looking for something I never DID find, but I came across the Feather and Fan Shawl I completed last fall. I love that shawl. Suddenly I felt kind of sad for it, all folded up in it's little bag. I felt that it needed to be seen, not forever preserved. So, I decided to enter it in a competition. I thought it was pretty, but would others?

I guess so!

YEY!

First Place: Best of Knitted or Crocheted Women's garments
First Place: Knitted garment other than a sweater
Best over all of Division 3
Second: in Division 1B (Adult Garment)
I am so happy!

on this day...

2009-07-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Big Little Boy was born 4 years ago, almost to this minute ... and my life, and the way I think about things, and love things, changed instantly, and forever. The smallest things became more important, and the need of having my children surrounded by loving family became even more paramount. I now yearn to have the warmth and security of my extended family around me.

I am still riding the wave of wonderful feelings that my extended family brought us, this past weekend!

A quick thought on inconsistancy...

2009-07-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have more in my queue to post but I have not had time to edit yet ... i will post it soon, I promise.

okay ...

so in my throws of "this had BETTER not be Swine Flu" the past few days, I did some looking up of what symptoms make Swine Flu, Swine Flu and not some other Flu ...

And some of the symptoms are sudden high fever, sore throat, diarrhea, vomiting ... (check, check?, check, no check...)

and then something occurred to me ...

Do you know every year how they have those specialists come on saying "If you are vomiting, you DON'T HAVE THE FLU, you have FOOD POISONING... the FLU does not make you throw up yadda...yadda...yadda....".

okay, I have had the Flu and food poisoning, and you know what? I threw up with BOTH. anyway ....

One of the symptoms of Swine Flu is VOMITING.....

so what gives? If you call in the the doctors office and tell them your symptoms, are they going to think that you don't have SF if you did not exhibit one of the major signs ... throwing up? OR are they going to say "You don't have the Flu because you threw up. If you throw up, you obviously have food poisoning.".

I have had rather "heated" arguments with people on this whole calling illnesses the Flu or not, and this recent thing just gave me the ammo to shout "oh yeah? Well with Swine Flu, vomiting IS one of the symptoms!!! -- SO SUCK IT".

Love Love LOVE! In that order...

2009-06-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

Love #1: FO!

I finished my Tahki Empire Tunic! I really really like it! I loved the yarn, and after I decided to knit it in the round, the pattern seemed to fly by! I am SO HAPPY that I did not have to seam this! It had cables, and I really did not want to be able to see the seams through the cabled mid-section. I was a bit concerned about how snug it would fit through the hip area, but there is enough ease in the pattern to allow nice drape without getting the mu-mu effect. I will be writing more about my modifications to the pattern on Ravelry.

Now that that is done, I am trying to finish up my VK lace stockings. Quite the piquant knit, that.

Love #2: Removing clutter!

This weekend I will be soaking and drying all of my hand spun yarn. I have been putting it off for several months, because I wanted it to get warmer outside. But you know what? I am sick of having the yarn taking up the air-space next to the computer!

Look at that MESS. Sick I tell ya. Look at that action shot ... Blogger up on the computer screen, big "hospital cup full of energizing tea drink", and a big bag-o-trail-mix...and the new clothing item envelope .... I am so sick of clutter -- save that for another entry.

I have been on a quest lately. I quest to find comfy pants. Not comfy as in the sweats, and yoga pants that I already live in --- I want something different.

After having the boys, I was fortunate in that I was able to get back into about my same size of clothes. I say "about my same size of clothes" because I can wear all of my old pants, but something has changed. I don't know exactly what has changed, but the pants/shorts just don't look or feel the same on me anymore. I find my pants uncomfortable, and tight in weird places; the waist is kinda tight and/or they ride up and give me a ALL DAY wedgie. I don't care how cute the pants are/were, if I am always having to stop and discretely pry my underwear out of my butt, then the pants just are not going to cut it. If I shop for a size larger, they look baggy and frumpy. I am sick of being caught between shorts that are so short that they look like underwear, and shorts that are so long and full of pleats that I age 15 years just by trying them on.

I am publicly acknowledging that all of these problems are probably due to my ass ... it seems as though it has morphed into some sort of unhappy beast that no longer wants to conform to the current trend of fashion ... after my ass rebelled, the mid-section was not long to follow. I am not complaining because I think I am overweight, because I am not. I am 118 lbs, and I am happy with that ... I just have a real body, with dimensions that don't seem to conform to the recent trend of clothing styles; style meaning the genera of clothes that that exist outside of sweats and yoga pants. Just because I am small, and it is summer, this does not have to be my style!

Anyway, I started questioning our western clothing styles, and what multi-para women my age wear in other countries. I am fortunate enough to have grown up alongside people of MANY different ethnic backgrounds, and in my lifetime, have never seen a Hindu, or African woman, looking uncomfortable, or anything less than stellar in her clothing style -- EVEN AFTER PREGNANCY! Theirs are clothing styles that have been worn for thousands of years. Their clothing styles accommodate the human body, NOT the other way around!

My search led me to these ... thai fisherman pants, or as Thai people call them, "Ganggeang Lay".
Quick, simple, easy care, light weight for hot weather wear. PERFECT!

I hemmed, and hawed ... I bought.

which brings us to...

Love #3: Happy Purchase Pants Dance!

I purchased them directly from Thailand on 26 May, and they arrived today June 3rd! (hence, the reason for the empty envelope int he clutter picture above :-) )
I am in love.

My husband has his first "real show" (no, not an All Male Review, an art show for his pottery;-) ) this weekend.

I am so happy, excited, nervous, hopeful for him!

I finally jumped in with both feet!

2009-05-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Along with an update in look, and feel, there are also some changes to the sidebar -- I am on Etsy now! YEY! For many many months, I have been working incrementally on getting a shop set up on Etsy! Yey! I am finally done! YEY! I actually started on it this time last year (!), but when you have little kiddos, things just take longer than you'd ever expect. I really wanted to have everything up and running for the 2008 Christmas season, but really, what was I thinking? Seriously? Did I think that Christmas would somehow be easier and less work this year? What was I drinking when I came up with that great idea? And then there was the spring field season, which means I was single-parenting for much of April and May -- Yup ... conditions NOT conducive to anything other than, getting absolutely nothing done.

Anyway, after many hot, late night, after-hours sessions at my husbands office (graphics program), and learning how to use a light box, I am now having a lot of fun with making a lot of creative little things for my shop.

Now that LumLum Tree is up and running, I decided to keep up the pace and embark on a couple of other things to use up what-ever-little brain space and free time I have...

For Mother's Day, my husband scored three huge bags of raw wool for me. Now, when I say raw, I MEAN RAW. Basically, the property where he does his wood firing, is surrounded by a sheep farm, and it was shearing season. So, to say "thank you for not killing me for having to leave you so long, at home alone with the kids" he talked the farmer into giving him some of the Fleece. the farmer raises the sheep for Mutton, so he has no interest in the wool really ... but he does set aside some of the prettier fleeces, and those were the ones he gave my husband.

I spread it all out on a sheet to see what kind of condition it was in. I have NO IDEA what kind of sheep the wool came from, but some of it was beautiful!

Yes Sir, Yes Sir, 3 bags full!
(I could not believe how much the wool looks like dead animals laying in the yard!)

One for my master

One for my dame

and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.

Now, personally, the white one is pretty, but I think the Little Boy Who Lives Down The Lane is going to get screwed by this one, because this fleece was just plain gross. It had a short staple, was full of hay, grass, dried sweat, and poop. YUMMY!

Not really knowing what to do, and knowing that I don't have enough time in my life to process all of this wool by myself, I decided to have my husband drop off the two dark colored wools to the Illinois Wool and Fiber Mill to have them process it for me. Luckily, my husband was "going in that direction" and did not mind dropping it off for me. I really like staying local, and this family started this wool mill up just recently. How often do you get to have a wool mill so close? I guess the demand for a wool mill in this area was high, because they have a four month backlog. Hey, I don't mind. I love to hear that they are having so much business, and I am going to need those four months to get through my knitting and spinning backlog before getting this new fiber in the house!

While my awaits processing, I have embarked on yet another adventure ... SILK WORMS! A lady in my Spinning Guild ordered more than she needed, and offered them up to a good home. Several other Guild members, including myself, took on the little orphans. The boys and I have loved observing the whole egg-caterpillar process! We are not quite up to the cocoon stage yet, but we are going on daily walks and stripping local Mulberry Trees of their leaves. I have decided to go the caterpillar friendly route of letting the moths emerge form the cocoons, in hops of still being able to produce some nice, perfectly beautiful, and usable, spinnable silk fiber. IF I can get the hang of how to keep the silk worm eggs (eg., breeding the moths), and handle the silk fiber, I would also love to have enough silk processed to add silk spinning hankies to my Etsy shop at some time in the future!

I have so many irons in the fire, that I need a larger fire!

Greencastle Fiber Event!

2009-04-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since I last checked in. I honestly don't know where to start. It's like, suddenly having a close friend, or relative phone you up, out of the blue asking "so tell me what you have been up to for the past 6 months..." ugh .. .where to start?

I am going to start off small, and slow. ANd hopefully I will build some momentum over the next few weeks/days, and get this Blog Ball rolling again!

1) We finally resuscitated our local S'n'B (yey!). We have been meeting every Friday, and all I can say is I have needed this so much! I love the consistency! I love the camaraderie!

2) We are carpooling to the Greencastle Indiana Fiber Event this Saturday. This reminds me that I need to charge up the camera so I can take some pics so I have something fun to talk about after this weekend!

3) I frogged the Rhiannon socks (Cookie A). I was a good 10 inches into them too. BOTH of them. GOne. I love the pattern, as it is flawless, beautiful, and a tangy knit. But I got bored. I don't know why. I think it is my frame of mind right now, with spring, and it's bursting energy. I just needed something "faster", and more "changing". The cables got monotonous for me ... frogged, but not forgotten. I will start this project again, with different yarn, perhaps next fall, or winter.

4) In Rhiannon's place, I started two new projects -- the lace socks from Spring Summer Vogue, and the Jeans Empire Tunic from the most recent Tahki Yarns Terra Collection book. I am a little bit P.O'ed because the VK website has not yet uploaded the very charts I need to continue knitting the socks. I KNOW that I was being a total keener when I started knitting the damned socks the VERY NIGHT I got the magazine ... but c'mon. If you are going to make it necessary for me to go online to print out the charts I need to finish the project, at least have them posted by the time your new issues are distributed to the public! I'm jus' sayin'! Here I am all excited to knit these beautiful socks, and damnit, I have to wait now? I am making them out of the very yarn that Rhiannon was made from, and I feel as though THIS is a much better fit for the yarn.

This weekend is Easter, and although we do not celebrate the religious aspect of it, both sets of grandparents are coming to town for a visit, and a little Easter egg hunt. I will somehow get dinner and eggs dyed after I get home Saturday night (yeah, right!). I wonder how the in-laws would feel about Kraft mac and cheese, and a couple of Hungry Man frozen dinners for Easter Dinner?

I am beyond tired.
Doing the single parenting thing again this week (and next ... and the one after that too).
I am going to go check the VK site, and then hopefully, head to bed.

NOW WHAT?

2009-03-12T19:44:00.001-07:00

I am sorry that this is so long ... but I have had it. Simply had it. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine found out that BOTH of her kids were damned near poisoned with lead! Apparently, it was being tracked into the house from the front door frame. This got me thinking ..."hmmmm, I know we tested the major stuff when we moved in our current house (walls, window ledges, baseboards etc) and it all came up negative ... but the backdoor started peeling this winter, (stupid cold-ass winter) maybe I should go test that white shit paint that is now visible. Can't have my Lyddle Speyshel Snawflaykes getting more Speyshul because of chronic high lead in their blood..." So I goes and buys the stupid little test tonight ... dab it on the door -- the stick just about jumped out of my hand it turned red so fast ... yup, the old white paint UNDER the newer, 'safe' green paint, is SCREAMING with lead. GREAT ... gotta strip the DOOR IN ALL MY SPARE TIME! So I panic, and proceed to run around the house testing.everything.in.sight. Then I look at the back of the box, to see what all they suggest should be tested, because GOD KNOWS THERE HAD TO BE SOMEHTING LEFT THAT I HAD NOT SWABBED DOWN ... and lo and behold, it says "bathtub". Huh? really? Well, I was intrigued. I had to try this out ... went in, swiped the inside .. AND THE FUCKING SWAB TURNED RED. THE TUB HAS LEAD IN THE GLAZE!!!

We have bearly enough $$$ to feed ourselves, pay our debits AND keep our heads above water. I will be shot-up-the-ass-the-a-lead-test if we are going to stop bathing ON TOP of being broke. Seriously, what now? There is no replacing the tub anytime within the next 5 years!

After I calmed down (barely, but a little) we thought it through, and reasoned that

a) lead is not soluble in normal pH water.
b) we have ALWAYS stayed strict about the kids not drinking the bathwater -- you know, elusive Brown Trouts can appear at any time...
c) I am not the best housekeeper (I like to call myself BEING GREEN) and therefore, the tub does not get scrubbed with harsh abrasives hardly ever.

Have any of you EVER been through this? If so, short of tearing out the bathroom, what did you do?!?!? I am thinking that we will just be taking showers from now on, since that way, the water runs right down the drain, and does not linger long enough to be consumed in anyway.

The tide is high ....

2009-02-03T13:23:00.001-08:00

Cross my fingers, but we have actually had 2 good days in a row. Big Boy has been so helpful, and delighfully chatty. The crap tide finally went out to sea... but I am scared now, because I know that the tide will be back in soon, and that we are creeping toward yet another three days filled with pain-in-the-ass behaviour, accented with talking back, and being mean to little brother. Doesn;t it always seem to go that way? One or two really good days, then three bad ones ...

By the noise upstairs right now, it seems as though the crap-tide is coming back in.

excuse me while I go get my leaky canoe to go see what is going on....

LSG test

2009-01-16T12:32:00.000-08:00

The thing that is so funny about this post is that I used this space as a temporary holding place for some pics I was going to upload to the LSG Ravelry group I belong to. Long story about what the pictures were actually for (cough cough, looking the other way like I am trying to distract you onto some other topic). Well, I never was able to get the pics uploaded, and so here they sat, all that time...

I find it funny that I have had NO TIME to post anything at all, but in that void, there are these pics...

I will say this

1) I have good reasons for being so busy
--hubby has been out of town a lot on work (doing a lot of the single parenting thing)
--spinning
--Cookie A. Riannon Socks
2) Etsy

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel .. .but for now, I leave you with these images, warm enough to warm your coldest winter nights.

oh yes.
very warm thoughts.

Still spinning ... but,

2008-11-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

Funniest thing I have read all year…

“Children in acrylic have mommies who don’t love them.”

—Quote excerpted from syndicated source knitgrrl, and written by Shannon Okey (November 12 2008).—

The Dream, not Deferred!

2008-11-05T12:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I was walking out of the voting place with the boys, I was telling them that I want then to grow up in a world where a black man as president will be a celebrated and accepted norm -- I don't want them to grow up as I did, sitting across from that old yellowing poster of "America's Great Fore-Fathers" dozens of pictures of old, white men, who stare back with "you can only become one of us, if you are already, one of us...". As of yesterday, that "unspoken rule" no longer holds true!

I am so proud of our country, and I am so proud of Ohio! :)

HOOKED. Oh so hopelessly hooked.....

2008-11-03T21:16:00.000-08:00

CANNOT. STOP. SPINNING.

Welcome, T.J.!

2008-10-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

YEY!

I am finished with my wheel! When I got her, she was all packaged neatly in a little cardboard box.

I was really shocked at how light and "blah" the wood looked.

At first I was thinking that I was going to have to stain her to get her to look like anything, but after perusing a few sites, I decided that simple Tung Oil was going to be the way to go.

Now, she came with some SUPER COARSE sand paper. I came across nothing that needed to be with with that. The factory sanded finish was nice enough that I could start with a finer grit.

First I saturated her with the Tung Oil. I just flooded the surfaces with the oil, and sat there and watched as the wood drank the oil in. As the surface went cloudy, I would add more oil. I was feeding the wood, if you will. Once the rate of uptake slowed I would move on to another area, or another piece. paying special attention to the end grains, as they take up a LOT of oil.

Very light, raw New Zealand Silver Beech wood

Same wood after just one coat of plain, low gloss Tung Oil

Days 1 & 2, being careful not to get drips, I applied two, heavy, saturating coats, one coat each day, with 24 hour drying times in between.

Day 3, I sanded every single piece with 320 grit. Took it all back down until it did not shine anymore, wiped everything down with a cloth to take off the saw dust, hi-power vacuumed each piece, then painted on another coat of the oil.

Day 4, sanded with 320, cleaned up the pieces again, and painted with oil.

Day 5, I decided to sand with 00 steel wool, as the spokes, and spindles needed better attention than what they were getting with the sandpaper. After using the steel wool, I took much care in wiping down the pieces, vacuuming them, tack clothing the grabby areas, and re-applying the oil (now in high-gloss because I ran out of low-gloss).

Day 6, sanded with 000 steel wool, took major care in cleaning a vacuuming the pieces, and then re-applied another layer of high-gloss oil with a soft lint-free rag.

Day 7, applied yet another nice, even, streak-less final coat of the high-gloss oil.

Day 8, I was going to hit the whole thing with a 0000 steel wool, but I loved the even satin/gloss finish so much that I decided to leave it alone, and just assemble it. I think the assembly took me about 2 hours.

I am planning on keeping her surface with Lemon Oil wood finish.

She spins like a dream. I still hear some minor rubbing, and clicking in areas, but I know that it is going to take a little time for all of the pieces to wear smooth, adn learn how to rub into one another. I

I originally set her up as SD, but I have been going on DD now, and really like it. I plan to mess around to see if I can tell the difference between all of the ratios and such. Right now though, i am just treadling and having fun with her!
Aside from the two small zip lock baggies that held the hardware ... I LOVE LOVE LOVE how every single bit of the Ashford packing is recyclable! How wonderfully responsible is that?

Bats in my belfry ...

2008-10-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Kind of funny but last night I was having the best, and most entertaining dream! In the dream I was doing all of this fun stuff that I used to do like high elevation hiking and desert camping, and some point in the dream I decided to take an intensive alpine hiking class which involved a lot of working out carrying heavy packs in steep terrain. Well I was in the class on the first day, meeting all of my classmates, and they had us line up to meet our instructors. So there we are suiting up, and meeting the instructors, and we start getting briefed on what we are going to be doing and how each instructor was responsible for teaching us different things, and I look up when this one instructor starts talking, and it was a dear friend from my past. I was like "no way!", and he looked at me and got pissed because I interrupted his spiel. He did not recognize me! And I was PISSED! Because he would not talk to me, so I got sick of it and walked up to him and took my finger and started poking and tickling his sides saying "GIVE IT UP FAT BOY! YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" (a joke from our past) and he started balling up and giggling like the Pillsbury Dough boy and then he finally recognized me. The rest of the dream we were laughing so hard at everything and drinking beer while hiking -- we were laughing so hard and so much so that i actually woke myself up laughing out loud. Then I lay there in the dark trying to figure out if I had laughed myself awake, or did I actually hear something loud in the house (don't you HATE that?).

I was laying there still enjoying the giggles from the dream when I heard the noises again. I tried to convince myself that I really was not hearing anything and proceeded to lay there with my hears turned on super sonic. You know how that is ... you lay there and are listening so hard that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your eardrums. I started getting SO SCARED because I KNEW I was hearing something in the house, but I could not figure out what it was. It was one of those instances that I knew (kind of knew) it was not a person, because our house is so creaky that you cannot weigh more than 10 pounds and not make our floors squeak -- but still, i kept hearing dragging, flapping, and slithering. I was paralyzed trying how to best get to the boys AND get out of the house ... I finally went back to sleep. I felt like an ass for the rest of the day because I was sure I was just being paranoid ...

Until 4:30 in the afternoon when I just happened to notice this on my curtains....

Yup. See that? It's a BAT!

I thought he was kind of cute, but I was a little wigged out at the same time because I had no idea how to catch him ...

I found myself laying mental reference upon one of the boys' Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes...

Bat, bat, come under my hat,
And I'll give you a slice of bacon;
And when I bake,
I'll give you a cake,
If I am not mistaken.

This rhyme probably came from a time when more households dealt with bats in the house on more a daily basis (you know, fireplaces with no flue flappers, gaping siding, huge attics etc.). I guess the way they caught them was under a hat. But the logic ends there. Was I also supposed to wine and dine the thing? Yeah ... riiiiiiiight.

As I was formulating my plan of attack, all I kept picturing was me tippy toe on a chair, wearing my Bat-Catching-Accoutrement, sneaking stealthily up on the flappy critter, when all of a sudden it would be like the opening scene of Scooby Doo in here. There I go, falling on my head, bat skittering off to some dark recess of the house ... only to keep me awake for countless nights to come.

Long story short, I just walked up on the bat with an empty Tupperware container, and put it over him/her. It did not budge. The bat was really sleepy (like me). I gently laid the lid over the curtains in the container to impede escapiture (yes, my word).

I let the boys briefly ogle him through the sides of the container, and then I put his little fuzzy butt outside.

Little bat friend finally flew away once it got dark.
We think he was a Silver Haired Bat

Actually, that night, when I read the Bat Rhyme to the boys, I changed it to something that makes more sense in MY world ...

Bat, bat, come under my hat,
And I'll give you a slice of bacon;
And if you get out,
You will flap about,
Of that, I am not mistaken.

Are you kidding me?

2008-10-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Okay ... this is a short little rant today. It is just that, something struck me today whilst I flipped through one of my catalogs.

Okay, are we familiar with the wonderful Fleece Couch Sack apparel? You know, it's basically a sleeping bag with sleeves and feet holes. Hey, I am not knockin' them, because I have TWO. Long story as to why I have two (a gift and a re-gift), but let me tell you, I LIVED in this Couch Sack during the winter months of my pregnancies. At 9 months pregnant, it was all I felt I could fit into on some days. I actually started to wish that they made them in fancy fabrics that one could say, go out to dinner in. Sew a little fake pearl strand on the collar, add perhaps a printed faux belt or a Velcro-on skirt? ANYHOOOO, back to my rant. As I was leafing through my catalog, I saw that they had some of these Couch Sacks (NO I am not purchasing another one!) and they had them described as follows ...

Fleece Couch Sack ... stretchy cuffs at wrists and ankles make this warm, wearable fleece blanket a snuggle suit perfect for chilly evenings, One piece, zip front -- Generous Fit.

Generous Fit.

Generous Fit ... (?) (!)

Isn't it obvious that this sleeping bag with arm and foot holes would be a generous fit? Perhaps also, the words COUCH or WEARABLE BLANKET would make you think that it is generously sized?

Excuse me, BUT it's a FREAKING SACK for God's sake! You'd kind of expect a Body Sack to be a bit beyond Relaxed Fit, wouldn't you.

Take the word sack -- do YOU think of something that is form fitted? Seriously, how often do you find yourself nudging your buddy and whispering ... "that slut, did you see her wearing that CFM sack dress?". Or, how about "Wow Henrietta! That sack really hugs your curves and shows off how much you have been working out!" No, it usually like this "I feel like a bloated whale today, so I am going to put on my bloated whale sack pants...".

Oh I am SO GLAD I read the WHOLE description because (phew!) because I want my Fleece Couch-sized Sack to be Fitted!

Which brings me to another pondering ... now that we have quantified the upper limit of Generous Fit, there must be something larger ... is the next step up Tent Fit? Tent Fit for those with an inverted triangle shape? And then what is up from there? Infinite Fit? Hmmm, I guess Infinite Fit would be going naked.

sorry.

Had to share.

It is getting cold outside ... I will be crawling into my generously sized fleece sack soon. Pictures will be posted.

Why Christmas might possibly BLOW this year....

2008-10-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

DOA

See that?
It's our furnace.
It is, what it's name infers.

Being that it is going to be winter in Flatlandia soon ....
We had to replace it AND the a/c unit.

now ya see it .... now ya don't ....

F.

Man, it is going to be tough around here for the holidays.

Fiberlicious!

2008-09-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

Aside from finishing Feather and Fan (yey!), starting Mystery Stole 4 (YEY!), joining the local Spinning and Weaving Guild and taking off to go to A Wool Gathering (double and triple yey's!), I am now finally sitting down to put up a post.

First off ...

Feather and Fan Shawl, by Eugen Beugler: A Gathering of Lace
start: 07.01.08
fin: 09.14.08
4.3 skeins of Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud: Sunset colorway
Size 3 Skakel Addi lace
more on Ravelry

The pattern offers a variation of a cabled panel, every-third panel. I chose to do the cable panels, and I am really happy I did! The different panel stirred things up a bit, because the pattern routine became quite mind-numbing on the longer rows. I am also happy in the visual spice it added to what would have been a sea of Feather and Fan. I was going to try to "cheap it out" and force it all into my 32" needles ... as soon as I did that, I will be damned if I did not drop a bunch of stitches TWO ROWS AFTER I HAD PLACED A LIFE LINE! PHEW, thank goodness for that life line! I bought the 60 inch circulars, and had no more problems.

In my version of this f&f, I placed beads at the visually interesting parts of the pattern. I used approximately 30 grams (~5000) 11/0 Delica Japanese seed beads. I just wanted a shimmer effect of a design ... I did not want the beauty of the lace to be over shadowed by the beads ... I wanted the beads to enhance the lace patterning. In addition to the other beading, I also added a tiny seed bead in the center of each little cable.

(subtle beading is hard to see)

The final 20, or so, rows were taking SO LONG. I must admit, I started getting a little bored. The final rows were taking and Hour-and-a-half to get around! I actually left out a beaded row because I really did not feel like taking 3 hours on a row!

For the life of me, I do not know why I decided to do this on size 3 needles. The pattern called for size 5. The thing is, during blocking (took over 370 pins), this shawl reached 60 to 65 inches (152 - 165 cm) in diameter! So had I used the larger needles, it would have been HUMONGOUS!

As for the Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud. I love the color! The yarn was a little stiffer, or harder (?), than what I am used to (I usually use Zephyr silk/wool). Even after blocking, it still has a slightly stiff feel to it. I am not unhappy with the yarn, I just think that I am unfamiliar with it's feel. Side by side though, I prefer the fluffy feel, and sheen of the Zephyr.

Mystery Stole 4

Not a lot to say about it yet other than I am enjoying myself, and I just finished the first row of Clue #2. I really love the color and feel of the yarn, though it is splitty (looslely plied maybe?). I dunno the terminology. All I know is that I really have to watch because it is easy to knit one strand of the ply, rather than both strands.

(pic to come)

Valley Yarns 2/14 Alpaca Silk, from WEBS
eggplant colorway.
size 4 needles

A Wool Gathering!

My husband, sensing that I needed a little break, shooed me out of the house when he got home from work. I jumped in the car and headed to Dayton, where I got to spend the night by my self in a niiiiice fluffy hotel. Holy crap, I got to sleep in AND there was a hot breakfast waiting for me downstairs! I arrived at the Gathering, and immediately, the fiber fumes went to my head. I was instantly drunk. Seriously, my brain left me when I walked into the first tent. I walked around for at least an hour before I was able to clear my head enough to remember why I was there -- I was on a mission. I was there to try out wheels, and to buy copious amounts of fiber! Because of this, there are no pics from the Gathering -- sorry.

Odd to say, but it was not all that easy trying out the wheels. I know that not every wheel there was for public use (people had their own person wheels and were spinning on the sidelines), but when you are a vendor who can sell wheels, and you have them setting out with prices on them, then please have them set up for people to try out! A few vendors had wheels to sell, but no chair for a person to sit at ... or no "beginner fiber" for a person to spin on. Sorry to say, but I just passed them by. I did meet a LOT of niceladies though, who did allow me to sit and spin, and my, oh my, am I hooked now. I would spin on a wheel, go buy some fiber, go find a wheel , spin, go buy fiber. My bag got so full, I had to unload the goodies into my car twice!

two balls of fun wool.
I wish I could remember who I bouth this from!
The orangy ball is 3 oz of an angora wool mix.

The greenish one is 4 oz of plain wooly delight.

a BEAUTIFUL hand dyed from
Dianne, at Creatively Dyed Yarn
8oz of 70% wool, 30% Seacell

4 oz. of 100% Alpaca roving from
Tina at Winding Creek Alpacas and Llamas
I am seriously thinking of buying more of this colorway...

Two huge 8 oz. balls of Romney Roving from
Per Ardua Farm, Paris, Ohio.
I am thinking of spinning these together.

A lot of my family is in the YS area, so I went to my cousins and hung out on their front porch for a few hours before making the long drive back to Flatlandia. Full of chips, dip, and root beer, they loaded me into my car, which was reeking of yarn fumes. The wooly essence wafted around my car in the warm late summer breeze as I drove home into the setting sun; my head still swimming with color and fluff. I had beautiful dreams of spinning that night.

The next post will be of The Pending Purchase....

Back in the saddle ...

2008-08-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

It seems as though as soon as the number of stitches on my needles increase, my time to knit them, decreases.

I am still trying to finish up feather and fan.

Now that I am now up to 1168 sts on the the circs, (and I still have 60 rounds to go), I decided to add one more thing to my plate ... I started going to the gym again. Not that I don't like exercise, in fact, I love it. It is just, after having two kids, and nursing ... I needed more time to get back into the swing of things before I started up again. I did try going to the gym back when I was still nursing and OMG ... there was not a sports bra strong enough to hold all of that milkshake. I was actually afraid that with all that churning going on while running, all my milk would turn to butter. Imagine going to the doctor for that. Talk about plugged ducts. Sorry for the visual, but those of you who have been there, you are laughing. For those of you who have not, you are now mortified. That was a little glimpse of reality for ya - sorry you had to find out about it this way :).

SO, anyway, our University gym just re-opened after 3 years of renovation. This was the very pool where my water broke with Big Boy and the renovation started weeks later. I like to joke and say they did the renovation because of me. ANYHOOOO, I started up there again on Monday. I got my ass kicked. So far, I am the oldest person in the aerobics classes. I think a lot of the older faculty and staff were scared off to the older gyms with in the university during the renovation because the major pool and sauna were closed. Okay, so now that this one is open again ...OMG this gym has been turned into a workout-spa MECCA!

It is totally awesome! Each piece of workout machinery has a port for your earphones, and you can either listen to the radio, OR the built in TV. The TV's are built into the computer display that controls the machine. Oh so here I am, beep beep beep increasing the speed of the treadmill, and beep, pushing the little up-down arrows to also change the tv channel to Food Network. I WATCHED FOOD NETWORK on my very own TV, WHILE I RAN 2 MILES! Talk about DREAMY! AND they have a sauna again! OMG. Now I spend 2-3 hours at the gym every time I go!!

The only thing I don't like is now the sauna is co-ed. So now I have to sit there and listen to the stupid sounding Frat Guys talk about their weekend escapades. I NEED to start writing down some of the crap I hear them say, because it is so freaking stupid/hilarious.

So I have decided that I need to be wearing flip plops with my entire wardrobe. Apparently those OR slut Vegas shoes (got those too) are the "in" things this year.

Something funny about the workout classes I am in ... the Workout leader girl thinks it is funny to pick someone out at random from the class, and she goes "hi! Whats YOUR name? (hop hop hop cute little pony tail bobbing around) HI Lindsay! How are you? Okay, how old are you? 19? Okay every body let's do 19 more of those moves!" she did it twice, and so one time it was 19 ... the other time is was 20.

I am just DYING for her to pick on me one time ...

"Hi sweetie! How are you? What's your name (boing-boing goes her cute little pony tail, bing-bing go her cute, perfect little breasts) ... Hi Miss 11tyBillion! How old are you? (the boing-boing slows for a second ...) well yes, yes I do really want to know, silly! How old are you? C'mon! What? What did you say? Um okay ... um ... okaaaaaaay ... really? Really? Uh, well, okay everyone, lets do 38 more of those crunches...."
Observe little cute instructor making a mental note not to call on her again, and who the hell needs to wear industrial sports bras like that?

Catching up

2008-08-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit disappointed in myself lately, as I have not posted anything about knitting. here is why. It is going very very s.l.o.w.l.y. Don't get me wrong, I love what I am doing, it is just that I am also toying with getting a wheel, starting my Etsy shop, AND finishing up Feather and Fan.
A couple of weekends ago, I joined a local Weavers and Spinners Guild. The ladies were SO NICE! Being part of the Guild, I can rent a couple of different wheels and try them out! I think I might be able to get one this weekend! They have an Ashford Traditional and an Ashford Joy. I got to try both of these wheels last weekend, when I went to a spinning class at a local yarn shop. It was wonderful to sit outside in the cool August breeze (what the hell is going on with the weather?) and learn how to spin. the little tufts of roving tumbled around like little fuzzy critters! I hate to say it, the Ashford Traditional and I did not get along. I don't know if it was the day, the roving, or perhaps I just did not spend enough time getting to know it. What I do know is that the Joy and I really hit it off.

Here is the problem ... when I finally do get a wheel, i want to be sure that the wheel will grow with me. I want to be able to eventually spin lace, and a lot of the wheels that are good for beginners do not spin that fast. The Traditional allows you to ADD lace weight flyers at a later time ... the Joy does not. Hmmmm, what to do? I am also interested in the Ashford Traveler Something about it's looks really calls to me. but finding one in a 200 mile radius is proving to be difficult.

I think the only way to remedy this problem is to go to A Wool Gathering in Yellow Springs!

Out with the old...

2008-07-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

So there I was at the store last night. We had TWO carts (one for each boy) and MAN was I through with shopping. As I stood there going back through my mental Roll-A-Dex, making sure I did not forget anything important -- like cake mix for the birthday party ... I remembered that I want, NEED a big pack of gum. Personally, I like those honkin' big Plen-T packs. Big Red, Wintermint, whatever -- just as long as it is a big chunka chunka pack that will last me. I like to keep one in the car, and one by the back door. I like to keep them handy for those not-so-fresh moments. I used to keep one next to my pillow...

ANy way, I am standing there, looking for the huge packs of gum. Not ONE in sight. I go to the other isle, not a one. So I get perplexed and wonder what has been put into their place. Little thin boxes of hard shelled, square gum "pillows". I don't want a freakin' Chicklet wanna-be, I want gum. You know, gum in a stick? That flat, bendy little ribbon of minty/fruity/cinnamon-y goodness? So I start grumbling, fidgeting, looking perplexed...and the lady behind the counted asks me "what are you looking for?". I tell her "gum ... you know, stick gum?". She looks at me, briefly puzzled, and says this...

"ooOOOooooh, you can find that over in the 70's specialty candy isle, with the little bags of Gold Rush (faux gum tobacco)..."

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Gum in stick form, along with Led Zeppelin, and The Eagles has become a "oldie but goodie"?

What? With carrying around iPhones, and Blackberries, and iPods, do people no longer have room in their pockets or purses for a big thing of gum? Was there not enough "gum bang" from the mere sticks? Were folks finding that they had to chew three or more sticks of that old-fashioned gum to get the BANG-o-Flavor that can be had from chewing one, new, very sheik, and engineered gum pillow?

Ponderings, Qiviut, and more ponderings

2008-06-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was sitting on my rose covered veranda, basking in the long rays of the early morning sun, sipping my morning Earl Grey, thinking about Qiviut wool, Qiviut yarn, Qiviut roving, Qiviut raw fleece for sale ... I need it.

I am contemplating starting to spin wool, and apparently, this stuff is THE STUFF to have. I saw teeny spun balls of it in Columbus last weekend going for HUGE amounts of $$$. As we don't have the muskoxen down here, it is kind of rare to find.

I then thought "hmmmmm folks up in the seriously cold climates must have this stuff popping out of every corner ... oh, hey I KNOW some one up there!"

I got my first break from the boys last week. I went home for a week of classes at a techniques conference (knitting). It was so wonderful being home. I actually felt as though I looked good (dare I say haaaawwt?) for the first time in a long time. Wow, I actually had time for myself in the mornings! There was something so soul grounding, walking the very streets that every generation has walked since my great great grandfather. This vibration in my soul then took me down to Xenia Ohio, and I did a little family tree researching for another branch of my family, and I was able to find the resting place for my (get this) Great-great-great Grand mother and father. We all knew where to find the Great-great ones, but finding the Great-great-great's was a total kicker. Armed with my information, I drove around town and found their original homestead land, and a house from one of their sons (still standing there in Xenia!). It was seriously soul shaking, standing there on "their land", that had been forgotten about for almost 100 years. It is not our land anymore, but next time I go I am going to look for the house foundation. And one of these days, I would love to build my own house on it! I went to the cemetery, but could not immediately find the g-g-g's. That will be for another time as well.

I am starting to find such solace in simple, simple things.

One thing I am NOT finding solace in is the fact that I STILL have shitty dial-up.

Good times

2008-06-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

KC2008 was a blast! I met so many nice and wonderful knitters there! I also re-met someone that I went to middle school with! I blew the whole wad, and took "the Whole Kit". Next year, I think I will do the Whole Kit and Kaboodle, which includes a reception and the talks by the "who's who" in the knitting world. This year though, I had to get my hair cut instead of going to the Ravelry Talk! I know I know, how could i DO that? Well, my Hair Lady is only available on Thursday nights, and she just recently got through a bout of battling cancer. I have been going to this woman since I was 4 years old. She is like a part of my family, how could I NOT see her? I figured that maybe i will get lucky and be able to see Casey at Stitches in Chicago? Who knows.

I have not mentioned knitting for a while. Not because I am not doing anything, just mainly because I have been uninspired by what I have been doing. I was/am making a blanket for Little Boy. Talk about mindless knitting ... it is the sideways knitted washcloth design. You know, knit every row, with one YO increase at one side. Woooo Hooooo! Now THAT's excitement! I have been sticking hard and fast to my "knit one item at a time, finish, start another" mantra for a long time, until now. I came home from that conference TOTALLY inspired. So inspired that I am right now working on a lace swatch from A Gathering of Lace. And not only am I going to do the lace, I am going to heavily bead it. I had been planning on starting Feather & Fan after I finished LB's blanket, but here is my justification for starting another project ...

1) Even if I bust my butt and finish the blanket this week (which will not happen) he won't be USING the blanket until this fall/winter.
2) I need to have a mindless project to take on long car rides, and to S'n'B. C'mon, when I go to S'n'B I spend most of my brain power talking to the other ladies, and could you imagine the mistakes that I could make on a lace project?

How they hangin'?

2008-05-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

I have been awake for at least an hour or two ... why? Because I kept dreaming that I had three kids. Thing is, the dream would be going along fine, because I would be doing things with my boys, but then, all of a sudden, I would remember "hey, wait ... where is my other child? Wait, did I have a boy or a girl? and what does it look like?" I would be completely panicking all through the rest of the dream trying to retrace my steps through Dream Land, trying to find my lost baby. And of course, Dream Land had its everyday annoyances, like, i came back through one area that Hubby and I had been picking up (in the dream), and he had thrown all of the kids toys into the garage because "well I said to get all the toys up off the floor in the living room". It was like, Hell Dream. Not only had I lost a child, but my husband was there annoying the F' out of me while I was looking for my baby! I then got so fed up in my dream that it "changed channels" and the next thing I knew i was dreaming that i was playing with Little Boy, and I heard crunching, and I looked over and Big Boy was eating a box of toothpicks, which were getting caught in his throat, and he started choking on them and was freaking out and not letting me hold him down so I could pull them out ... great dreams, those.

I was supposed to go out again tonight, and tomorrow night (this is such a rarity for me), but I think that I am going to have to bag out on one or both nights. If I go out all three nights in a row, there is now way in HELL that we will be ready to go to a funeral on Saturday and be ready to entertain family that I have coming through on Sunday. To be more correct, there is no way that I will be able to find clean clothes for myself for the funeral AND have the house cleaned for Sunday. Of course Hubby and the kids have nice clean clothes for a funeral. I could show up in what I wore last night (which was what I wore that day, AND the day before), and that is just about all I got right now. Fleece socks, birks, and my University Sweatshirt from 1991. I am wearing it right now BTW. I am so HAAAWWWWWWT that i give myself (and all others around me) heat stroke.

HOLY SHIT Angelina's boob's are HUGE (just saw them previewed on the That Morning "news" Show). I think they will be interviewing them later on in a segment. They said something about "Angelina's twins..." as the wide-angle lens camera panned over her. I just assumed that they would be talking to her tits. Just the kind of interview that I have come to expect from the That One Morning Show that I ranted about the other week. I sometimes miss my nursing boobs -- but I am so happy to be able to wear my cute little shirts without having to broadcast "I am an E, and 'E' stands for Enormous ... Here look at my constantly expanding BOOBS...". Did I ever tell you that the woman at the Big Bra Place actually brought an F into the changing room for me to try on, and I was so aghast with the idea that I wouldn't try it on? I was standing there thinking that E stood for Enormous, and F stood for F'ed UP.

Are YOU Abilified?

2008-05-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

All I can say is WOW.

I saw their May 9th interview on the Today Show, and let me tell ya, the oldest child, looked a little shocked (gobsmacked, perhaps?) by the announcement.

oh, and one more thing ...
have you seen the commercial for the new drug Abilify?

Abilify? Abilify? REALLY? Are you kidding me? Is that the best they can do?
In my mind (and the amusement park that it is) I think the commercial for this drug should go something like this:

Voiceover: "do you find your daily tasks difficult to do because your pesky bi-polar self gets in the way?"

Scene cuts to a lady pacing the floor of an empty living room, having an animated, hand-waving conversation with the three other people in her head. She stops, looks at the camera, and suddenly smiles, as if she has an idea....

voice-over: Abilify can help!

As the voice-over rambles on about how the drug can cause bad breath, loose stools and bulging eyes, the scene cuts to the same lady, out and about shopping, talking on the phone, meeting friends for lunch ... she smiles, and laughingly says,
"Why, I feel so Abilified now! After taking it, Why I have not felt so Abilified in years!"
voice-over: So ask your doctor about what Abilify can do for you!"

same lady on a swing, swatting at invisible bugs says "I've been Abilified, how about you?"
man at a picnic table says "Abilify me!"
lady swinging an ax says "Abilify me!"

WTF? ABILIFY???

Since when do the drug companies get drug name ideas from words that our President probably uses?

"if we send more troops, this will Abilify us to attack the attackers ... "

KLG = going down hill, and FAST....

2008-05-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

As I turned my head to address the 300th utterance of "can I have grrrrnola baaaaaar?" from my young son, I saw my favorite Blogstress on the TV screen! ANYWAY, I scrambled to turn up the volume. I was so excited to hear what she had to say to these Morning "news" Show folks. But OH MY GOD the train wreck that ensued after KLG opened her mouth! At the end of the interview, I yelled "WTF happened there?" and I scrambled to leave her a comment (Comments were closed - DAMN!). Ever since becoming a SAHMF'er (the MF'er part I learned from her, waaay back when) I have watched more than my fair share of That Show, and let me tell you, it has basically turned into a very pretty, yet putrified television swap meet. They get the products (or interviewees) set up all perfect and nice ... then the gun shot ... aaand they are off!

HOST: "Today, on This Show we are talking about things that are good for you but can also be bad for you at the same time, and we have Todd here with us to tell us about them."
--professional looking Todd waves politely to the camera
"So Todd tell us about this report I read that states that a person can actually DIE from eating too much fiber..."
TODD: "Well, that report came out 3 years ago and.."
HOST: "So you are saying that people who ate fiber 3 years ago could be dead or dying right now, as we speak? Really? (info-graphic at the bottom of the screen changes from “Fiber? Saint or Satan?” to read “You could be dying right now and not even know it!”). So who should those people contact if they find themselves, or even worse, if they find that their loved ones are dead or dying?"
--Todd, stammering, looking confused, and wide eyed, looks at the neat little table of fiber containing foods and struggles to block the memory of the host winking at him backstage, and tries to regain his thoughts...
TODD: "Well, as i was saying, the data show that the consumption of fiber does not necessarily lead to death, but..."
HOST: "So you are saying that if you buy organic fruits and vegetables, that is better for you? What if you drink fiber supplement drinks out of containers made of Number 5 plastic, instead of the Number 7 plastic, then are you going to live longer?" (insert a spazed out graphic and 5 second film clip of people exercising to Weird All Yankovic's "Eat It".
HOST: “WOW! Fascinating! Thank you for clearing this confusing topic up for us Todd! And on to a more somber note, in the next segment KLG and H will be will be discussing Quantum Theory Mechanics with Stephen Hawking...".

I wish she would have gotten to say more about what she does, and the positive effects her blogging has had on so many people. But positive, and coherent thinking have no good place on Morning News Shows, now do they? Oh well, at least she got to see the Green Room.

bzzzzzt

2008-05-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

I have been putting together a post in my head for the past 3 weeks -- and at one point, I actually convinced myself that I had indeed posted it. Uuuuuuuh, no. Now I sit here, with more I want to say, but my brain idles, stalls, and starts flickering on and off like a failing fluorescent tube light.

I just got back inside from finishing several items from my mental to-do list, and once I sit and rearrange my mental "now what the f* needs to be done" list, I will be able to write more. I hope to GOD I will be able to write tonight, because if I go one more day, I will have too much to write, and the circular memory will kick in, and things will start getting written over.

(flicker ... flicker .... bzzzzzzzzzzzzt.....flicker ..... POP!)

Was that you?

2008-04-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

Being Geologists, my husband and I were completely jazzed about the earthquake this morning. Of course, my husband woke up and immediately thought that someone was trying to get into the house. I think that if he took my relaxed attitude, he would be less worried about someone breaking in to the house. My thought is this ... it would be easier to apprehend them once they have tripped and fallen over the toys on the floor. Let them break their own necks trying to walk in the dark in OUR house: Much easier than trying to beat someone to death as they are coming in through a window.

No thanks...

2008-04-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry, still no pics, as we are still in the midst of a data transition...

We have been sick in Chet Skeinsville for what seems like an ETERNITY. I feel like all I have done this whole winter season is wipe snot! And it never seems as though it is going to stop! OH! And to top of my pissy mood? IF I HAVE ONE MORE F'ING TISSUE GO THROUGH THE WASH, I AM GOING TO LOOSE MY F'ING MIND!
I had a pocket full of tissues go through the washer AND the dryer, on a dark load ... i cannot even START to tell you how bad I freaked out about it. I am still mad about it.

As E.B. put it : "I have been prostrated by the agony of the damned..."
Deadwood anyone? I have been watching it A LOT lately.

I have too many irons in the fire. I have some Etsy plans that need to start rolling,
I still have two more baby gifts to start, and I am trying to wrap up the Never Ending Baby Outfit.
I have been torn lately on what to do with the other 2 items I am planning to make. The person I am making the Never Ending Baby Outfit for is a new good friend of mine. She always LOVED the little outfit Big Boy used to wear, and I vowed to myself that I would make her one if she ever had another baby. My reasoning was this ... it is not that often that you find someone who REALLY appreciates, and ENJOYS hand made gifts.
I have not written about my recent knitting projects because my yarny foundation
has unraveled a little over the past few months.
I wanted to make 2 more little baby gifts for friends of mine that I have had for YEARS. The problem is this ... That beautiful BSJ i made for my cousin's baby? Never heard ONE WORD about it after I gave it to them.
It is one thing to hand a gift directly to a person, and have them thank you right there on the spot. But this gift was left with his parents to pass on to him. I know the gift was transferred to them too, because I asked his folks :).
I have heard nuthin'. Nada. If they didn't like it, fine, they didn't have to say "it is hard to say thanks because we hated the colors". A simple thank you would have been nice.
I have had this happen TWICE this year.

I don't think that my knitted gifts are so wonderful that they have to be put up on a pedestal,
under spotlights and glass. I also don't make these things and then set back and wait for the accolades to pour in. No, I make these gifts because I feel as though the stitches I form are bound together by love. So much of me goes into the items I make and give away!

The things that I make, I feel, hug that baby with the warmth and love I feel for that child. I constantly find myself let down because I would think that another person could at least see the specialness in what was made for them. This is why I am now trying to decide whether I should even "waste my time" on the two other gifts.
I am tired of getting my feelings hurt.
Sometimes I think that people have become so accustomed to getting
cookie-cutter-made-in-China-pieces-of-crap, that they don't really know HOW to receive something that they can't take back if they don't like it. I would have thought that I would at least get a "Thank You" via his parents had my cousin said "wow, that is nice she made this for us!"

I don't know what to do. I love making the baby things for those special little people, and this alone tells me that I should just go ahead and make the little things. But I get SO ATTACHED to what I make, and to the WHY I am making it, then my stinkin' feelings get hurt when I that little gem goes unappreciated. I wish I could just let the item go, and say "here's your gift ... DONE! Start next item in the queue, and I am gonna make something FOR ME this time!".

What the hell?

2008-04-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

New on my list of rants this week:

Salmonella reported in Malt-o-Meal(AGAIN!)

How in the HELL is salmonella getting into a DRY cereal? And not only HOW is it happening, HOW IS IT HAPPENING AGAIN? I heard that the ones that they are recalling are puffed grains? What are the conditions in that plant that are allowing for this contamination?

I PARTICULARLY LIKE THE LIGHTENING BOLT effect. To me it says '"KAAAAABAAAAAAAM Malt-o-meal! STOP IT! STOP STORING YOUR CEREAL GRAINS THE WAY YOU ARE! p.s. -- see, I CAN strike twice..."

and another thing...

2008-04-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

I got so mad at the tv weather dude this morning (I have not had my caffiene yet so I had to take the morning out on someone) and he was standing there in front of the radar screen saying "well as you can see there are some small heavy rain bands coming into the area.." as he dismissively points at a few fading green splotches on the screen between Skeinsville and Cowtown. Then he is acts all nonchalant as he start backing out of the screen to allow the 7 day forecast picture to pop up ... and as he backs up, his fat ass moves out of the way and uncovers a SOUTHERN FLATLANDIA- AND MISSOURI-SIZED ORANGE AND YELLOW REGION ON THE RADAR.... now, WTF is THAT? Isn't THAT something to be concerned about? Could he not see it because his FAT ASS WAS IN THE WAY? Shouldn't we have been told about that seething area of nastiness? I could give a crap about the sprinkles that are on their way, I want to know about the BIG STUFF that is likely to hit while I am wrangling the kids into, or out of the daily WalMart, Target, Meijer, shopping circuit. They are willing to tell us exactly how much rain they think we are going to get 7 days out, but when Armageddon is rolling up the prairie at us, they don't see it as something important?

3...2...1...and were ON!

2008-04-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Crackle .... crackle ....

Hello? Well, it looks like we are up and running again. The two year old P.O.S. computer we had finally gave up the ghost (again) and 3 mother(f'ing)boards and a power supply later, it is basically in the garbage. All I am going to say about this at this point in time is that the Computer Fixit guys said that they have seen about 20 of these very same computers with the same problem/s ... I have decided that now, I am not going to let this issue die. More to come.

For my birthday, my wonderful husband got me a little Mac Mini. I guess "little Mac Mini" is redundant, but it is soooooo little and cuuuuuuuuute, and MINI! I feel like using baby talk when I see it! I am now learning Mac stuff. I went out and bought "Macs for Dummies" -- the book is wonderful, and I am learning a lot from it. I guess that makes me a dummy :)

I have finished a few projects since my last posting, and I am almost finished with another baby gift. As I am eager to get to learning my new Mac stuff, I am distracted and don't feel like talking knitting today (gasp! i KNOW, write down this date, because it probably won't happen again for a long time!). Well, to be honest, I don't want to talk about knitterly things until I learn how to upload my photos and stuff. Talking knitting is one thing, but pictures of knitting is quite another! ;)

We are experiencing technical difficulties....AGAIN

2008-03-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

This is how we do it!

2008-02-25T13:57:00.000-08:00

Anyone else get that cheesy bit'o early 90's music reference? I don't know why my mind goes places like that, but at least it is a fun place! Yup, Cheese Queen, that's me.

I won't even try to fully explain my way out of why it has been so long since I last updated. How about this, I will partially explain. Two children under three ... lots of cold, lots of snow ... trapped indoors for long periods of time ... lot's of going to big box stores to walk around and get some sort of exercise ... and finally, the creeping crud illnesses that WILL NOT STOP ... oh, and Little Boy is getting EIGHT TEETH all at once. Yes, all 4 eye teeth, and all 4 molars AT ONCE. 'Nuff said.

I have been productive, though. I got both baby sweaters done, and gifted. The first went to my friend's baby.

Baby Sweater by Jean Leinhauser
US 4 / 3.5 mm
Cotton Linen mix on a 5 lb cone

I love this pretty little sweater. It looks more complicated than it is (bonus!). I changed the pattern a little bit so I could knit it in the round (bonus! bonus!), which made the whole thing seamless (BONUS, CUBED!). I loathe sewing up seams. The only thing to sew on this was the picot edging around the neck and hem, and that was not too bad.

And now, for the BSJ...

Baby Surprise Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmermann

US 7 / 4.5 mm
Plymouth Encore Colorspun DK

Isn't it amazing how 100 different people can read the same words, and 100 different interpretations can be derived from the same words? Everything (and especially written instructions) can be subject to interpretation. All I can say is that I had trouble processing the written instructions for this pattern. I ended up having to figure out a way to place, and maneuver stitch markers so that I could actually SEE what was happening with each row. The markers actually provided a way for me to count the stitches on my needles, as they are written in the pattern. This was not possible for me before I placed the markers.

If you are coming here from my Ravelry post, some of this will sound familiar. I love the finished product ... BUT ... I had a HELL of a time with this pattern in the beginning! I think I tore this out almost 4 times! Every single time, it all seemed to go to hell between rows 9 and 13. When I would go to count my stitches, I could not tell which were the worked SK2P stitches, and then I could not tell if I made a mistake (especially when adding those M1's nine times on row 11). Things started to get better when I found this post http://autumnblossomknits.wordpress.com/2008/01/26/baby-s... which lead me to BSJ notes written by Dawn Adcock http://www.3gcs.com/adcock/BSSNotes.pdf

what I ended up doing was this...

CO 160 and placed a marker between stitches (sts) number 34 and 35, 37 and 38, 86 and 87, 89 and 90. So, once you are casted on, you needle stitches look like:

Row 1: 34sts (marker) 3sts (marker) 86sts (marker) 3sts (marker) 34sts.
The three sts between the markers are not counted when working the 34, 86, 34 (left, center, and right sections) of the pattern.

So, getting down to business, say we are on line 3 ...

K33, pm, SK2P,pm, K84, pm, SK2P,pm, K33.

Once you are finished with row 3, and you are about to start row 4, remember that the SK2P reduces three stitches to one, and you will need three stitches to perform the SK2P on row 5.
Okay, so when you go to work row 4 (the even row side), knit until you reach one stitch before the marker (knit 32 stitches),

** place a new marker, k1, remove old marker, k1, remove old marker, k1, place new marker**.

There should now be 3 sts between the markers. Now continue knitting (knit 84 stitches) until you are one stitch before the next old marker, and go back up to **. When you finish the even row, and you look over what you just knitted, there will be a marker on either side of three stitches. These will be the stitches that you will be SK2Ping on the next row.

Now you will be able to keep track of the stitches on each side of the SK2P stitches, and you will be able to keep track of the number of middle stitches. Do this "marker thing" all the way to row 46, when the Dawn Adcock instructions tell you to place the markers in a different way because of the new increases.

I have probably confused so you so badly that you are running from you computer, yarn trailing behind you in a tangled mess. Sorry. I hope not. All I know is that I was getting really frustrated with this pattern, and I know that there were a few folks out there beating their heads against the wall with me. I am just trying to throw a "rescue ring" out there for any others who may be at their wits end.

Now, for the BSJ FO details. The contrasting edge on my BSJ was actually out of necessity as I ran out of yarn at ROW 110! Yes, four rows from the end! I thought I would DIE. Luckily I had some matching yarn laying around to finish up. I was shocked to find that I actually liked the way this jacket looks with the contrasting edge! I did an I-cord edging all the way around, including the neck. I then joined the sleeve tops with a three-needle bind off … both techniques I found on knitty.com. After I got it all done, I wished I could keep this for my little guy! Maybe when I finish some more projects, I will make him one for next year. The only thing I will change with the next one I make are the type of decrease stitches I will use - I am not a huge fan of the way the SK2P’s look (just my personal opinion).

I am reaching the end of my brain power for the night, and I can already hear my thought processes powering down. Next time, I might have finished Vogue Spring/Summer Short Sleeve Cardigan (#19) by Shiri Mor to share with you!

Until then, happy 'nittin.
Or unhappy, whichever you choose.

H - is for "huh?"

2008-02-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

I scanned this out of one of Big Boy's favorite books.
It is for real, and was not doctored in any way.

You know, I can only imagine how hard it is to come up with new and different things for kid's books. I mean personally, I TOTALLY get tired of the tired
A is for apple
B is for ball
C is for Cat... So, I really like it when folks come up with neat new things. BUT, don't you think they could have come up with something better for this particular "H is for Hamster...."?

How about "The Hamster is furry" or "The Hamster drinks water" ?
I about peed myself laughing when I came to it.

Yes, there is knitting news, but I am waiting for better light for photos. Knitting intensive post to come.

Eeeeh...so so.

2008-01-19T06:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, my first thought on the Revolution English Breakfast tea was "Do I need to leave the bag in longer?". Yeah, IMO, it is kind of weak. Personally I like my EBT to be fuller, thicker, and slightly sweet tasting. I ended up adding quite a bit of sugar to this Revolution EBT to give it taste. I think that I will be sticking to my Twinnings EBT until I find something better. Now, the one variation that might need to be tried is with milk. I don't usually add milk to my tea, so this might be something that would bring out other flavors of the Revolution EBT that would otherwise be missed by the "straight up" drinker. Nonetheless, the way I enjoy tea, did not bring out the positive quality of this tea. Therefore, my socks were not knocked off. Socks still on and thank goodness because it is WAY COLD outside.

Stash Peach - yum! I liked it quite a bit more than the Revolution Ginger Peach. The peach flavor is stronger (yet not unpleasantly strong), and the body of the black tea is fuller and more substantial than the Evolution Ginger Peach. Once again, I feel that the Evolution Tea was a bit weak in the taste department.

It is 2 degrees (F) outside, -11 with the wind chill. I feel as though I will be consuming a lot of tea this weekend. :)

In the moment.

2008-01-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Oh brrrrrr. It seems as though I am drinking so much tea lately. These cold, damp days really make me hanker a nice hot cuppa-T. Usually, I just reach for my old stand-by, Red Rose; but recently I decided to branch out a little bit and I purchased a few "new" teas.

Coconut Pouchong from Golden Moon Tea.

Ingredients: Grand Pouchong Tea Leaves, essence of coconut.

Vanilla Black Tea from Taylors of Harrogate
Ingredients: a blend of fine black tea with vanilla and sunflower petals.

Pear Honey from Golden Moon Tea (not pictured)

Revolution: variety tea sampler.
(Earl Grey Lavender, Tropical Green, Sweet Ginger Peach, White Pear, and English Breakfast)

The Coconut Pouchong is simply delightful! I never before have known of coconut in tea, and wow, here it is. You open the container, and the coconut essence is just heady! It is described as being "serene, and light ... with the coconut instilling a tropical sweetness in this exquisite bouquet..." 100% exact. The tea leaves are high quality, and brew up nicely. Actually, I accidentally over steeped (steeped the hell out of) some last night (bedtime bedlam began), and it was still really good by the time I got back to it (15 minutes or more). Now, this may have been due to the small, one cup quantity I was steeping; but, nonetheless, it was still TASTY, coconutty, and not bitter at all.

I must admit that I was quite apprehensive trying a Pouchong tea variety, because the name sounded way too similar to a Lapsoung (Lapsang) Souchong I once tried. Yeah, there is a reason I now call I now call Lapsoung Souchong, "Lhasa Apso tea". It tasted like a smoky, wet dog. I thought I was going to DIE. This is the very tea served in the waiting room of Hell, I am sure of it. Yet, I digress .... where was I?

The Vanilla Black Tea is quite tasty, but I have only made one cup of it, and I think I over-steeped it because IT:WAS:STRONG. Too strong. I don't think this was the tea's fault though. I was negligent. Despite my over doing it, this tea reminded me a lot of Chai, without all of the complexities. I will make this again and give a diatribe later.

The Pear Honey from Golden Moon Tea, I gave away to my Ravelry Tea Swap partner. She seemed to be quite pleased with it, so I am going to dash out tonight or tomorrow and score me some.

As for the Revolution teas; so far, I have only tried the Tropical Green Tea (dragonwell green tea, blended with pineapple flavor and citrus peel...) and the The Sweet Ginger Peach (a blend combining the taste of peaches, and ginger root with Ceylon and Assam Teas..). I was intrigued by this brand of teas because the name makes me think "hummm, they sound really responsible.." but when I opened the box I found the tea packaged in a little "plastic" mesh pyramid tea bag. We compost, and I compost all of my tea and used tea bags, so I was immediately taken back. Well I did some sleuthing and came up with this interesting description how their little mesh infuser bags are 100% biodegradable! Wow, nice!

The Tropical Green was fine, but not very rememberable. I attribute this to the fact that I was drinking it Christmas Eve, and I was a little stressed that night - read above post. The Sweet Ginger Peach was nice as well. Quite nice peach taste, without the harsh tannins and totally fake peach that some other peach flavored black teas have.

The only thing that kind of hacks me off is that the whole reason I bought this sampler box is because it was the ONLY ONE that had a sample of the White Pear Tea. Well, not MY box. Instead of the White Pear Tea, I ended up with two of the Tropical Greens. It is not like I don't like the Tropical Green, I just really wanted to get my taste buds wrapped around that Pear Tea! I guess one positive thing that comes out of this is that I am getting another chance to try the Tropical Green and come up with a better decision on it.

Earlier I spoke of Red Rose: Here is the newest addition to my Wade Figurine Frenzy.

I am still making my way through the Stash teas given to me by my tea swap partner. I will critique those later. I feel like moving on to other news right now.

FO! SOCKS! Although I am quite pleased with my PGR recipe for the invisible cast on toe. I am equally pleased with the "same as the toe, heel". What I am really irked about is the fact that it took me until the second sock to really get down grafting off at the top edge.

Egad! I should have practiced this technique before getting down to business on the real, actual sock. I was just so sure that I could just wing it and make it happen. Funny thing about grafting off ... once you start, there really is no turning back; at least not for me. The first sock (the unintentional guinea pig) is quite noticeably different than the second "got the hang of it by now" sock. I am not unhappy enough to tear it out though. Honestly, the beautiful yarn, and the glove-like fit, cancel out the top edges. The colors are so saturated that they are very hard to capture. I think that the above photo comes the closest to showing the actual colors.

The above photo was taken with a flash,
and does nothing for the colors.
Don't handmade socks look funny before they are blocked?

Now that my wonderfully warm Diakeito socks are done, I can start on my baby tasks. As of New Year's Eve, 4 babies have been born, and 6 more are on the way. All 6 are due between now and August. And how far along am I into my list of babies things to make?

The HUGE 5 pound spool of cotton/linen boucle
was an e-Bay purchase made about 5 years ago.
The seller actually sent this spool to me by accident (!)
and told me to keep it since it was his mistake.

That is it. That is all I have done. Good lord. At this rate I will never catch up. This little cutie will go to whomever is born first. Baby #1 is due the last week of January, baby #2 is due the first week of February. Baby #3 April, babies #4 and #5 (i think) June, baby #6 August. Baby #6 though, is not going to get a hand-knit. His family is going to get a homemade meal. He is baby #3, and although every baby is special and deserves something new, they have everything they need for a new baby ... what they are really going to need is ready-made food so that the new momma does not have to cook right away.

I have made this little sweater tons of times before, and I know I can turn one of these out in a day or two. I am going to try to make the matching booties as well, but we will see how much time I will get. Depending on my time, I might make these for the first two impending births, and for the next babies, a few of them might get the BSJ! I got my hands on a pattern when I went to Knitters Mercantile in November, and I have been chomping at the bit to start it. I am a little apprehensive at the learning curve, so I would rather tackle it when I am not feeling pressured. I think that between the February baby, and the April baby, I can get one or two done.

Oh, and last but not least ... everybody, meet Rufus.
He has to have been the BEST Christmas present EVA!
He's a PURSE!
How cool is that?

New Year, new post.

2008-01-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

The New Year brought along with it, new illnesses. Yup, both boys caught the creeping crud. How they got it I will never know. Up until a few minutes ago, my laundry room still had the faint odor of baby vomit, so I had to drop everything and get the mounds of "illness laundry" pushing through. Thank goodness the boys are asleep, for now I will have a little bit of time to try to figure out what to post. I hate to say it, but I am starting to feel a little ill ... but I am going to try to "mom my way through it" and perhaps the germs will just give up and go try to find a foot hold elsewhere?

I have not been completely idle since my last post. After much agitation, and studying PGR's Simple Socks, and Charlene Schurch's Sensational Knitted Socks , I embarked on my own toe-up pattern. What would make me take on such a daunting task, you ask?

My precioussssssssssss...

I had only two, 109 yd balls, so I wanted to use every.single.inch of this gorgeous stuff. This is why I opted for the toe-up variety of sock. I am creeping up on the half way mark for sock #2. This yarn? Diakeito MSE Diamusee. It is Simply Delicious. I cannot get enough of watching those colors change! It is so soft, and squishy, and the thing that keeps surprising me is how clean it is! I knit with Noro a LOT, and I am so used to having to stop and remove debris - not with this, baby! I also love how the color bands are not predictable - so much for trying to make identical striped socks! Honestly though, the striping is "random" enough that the different-ness does not bother me one bit! I actually prefer it with this yarn.

OH! OH! And don't let me forget! I signed up for Ravelry's Cup o' Tea holiday Tea Swap! I have no photos of my Tea Swap Loot, simply because I immediately dove into the tea box, and I had to put away the beautiful yarn because Big C kept wanting to drive his Matchbox cars in it "Drive car in mommy yarn garage?" Yes, he kept forcing the car into the skein calling it a "yarn garage" -

My swap partner wrote me and said that there is more coming too! Can you believe it? What a sweetie! I almost had to do an installment mailing as well, as it was taking forever for me to find the goodies to send my partner, but, as luck would have it, I found everything the Friday before Christmas, and got it out the door by the 22nd. Now, this parcel was going international, over the holidays, so who knows WHEN it will get to it's destination! I just hope she likes it when it arrives!

The washer just stopped, I need to move the washed load on to the dryer and get the next (4) loads going so I can sit and rest for at least half an hour before Thing 1 and Thing 2 get up. :)

Oh Holy Night ...

2007-12-24T22:45:00.000-08:00

I was just outside putting the last of the food (that will not fit in the refrigerator) into the car to keep it cold over night. Thank goodness we have a cold Christmas this year. Thank goodness for a lot of things, actually. It was so shockingly cold outside tonight. As I stood in the dark, it struck me how awesomely silent it was. It was so quiet that the inside of my ears felt heavy. As my warm breath rose up towards the sky, I lifted my gaze up to the amazingly bright, full moon, flanked closely by Mars -- Mars in Opposition the sun. Last night when we were driving home, the full moon rising looked like a giant cookie coming up over the horizon. NO kidding! Big C was so enamoured with it, and it's bright light, that he sang to the moon the whole way home.

We took a drive tonight, to go around "lights lookin'". The boys LOVED it. Big C just gasped, and sat wide eyed in his seat. Little M seemed uninterested until i removed his hood which was shielding his eyes. He gazed out the window and his eyes went large. He looked at me for reassurance for this beauty that he was seeing, and when I said "look honey, look at the pretty lights" he squealed and laughed with such pure joy that it brought tears to my eyes. His reaction was SO pure, SO beautiful; such astounding expressiveness for a baby of only 9 months.

Everyone is in bed now, the toys are all arranged with care. I got my mom to go to bed and to stop tidying up the room and folding bags, and moving furniture, and wrapping gifts in the living room RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE BOYS ROOM, and banging around and making SO.MUCH.F'ing.NOISE.

I am not a super duper religious person, but the feeling I had tonight was unearthly.Godly if you will.
Peace, Love, Harmony be with you all on this most beautiful of nights.

Something to show for it....

2007-12-19T18:57:00.000-08:00

I'd like to say that all of the days that we were trapped inside resulted in my finishing a bunch of knitterly projects ... but not so. I am not saying that I didn't do anything, but a knittin' machine, I was not. I DO have at least ONE FO to show for all of the "snow days" though. The Noro striped scarf is done! I loved this project! Something so simple yielding something so beautiful and seemingly complex. AND USEFUL! How can you beat that?

2 balls #249 (main background color)
1 ball #246
1 ball #245
knitted on 7s
Just a few ounces left over.

It has been really hard to get started on my new projects due to the holiday rush going on around here. Because of the oh so beautiful weather we have had the past few weekends (ice storms every weekend) and then a snow storm last weekend we have not been able to get our Christmas tree. We finally got one last weekend, and I just now, as in within the past hour, got it decorated. Tomorrow, the rest of the house. It is the littlest boy's first Christmas, so I want to have everything all pretty for him. As I was getting all of the decorations out tonight I discovered (GASP) we don't have a stocking to hang for him! I KNOW that he is too young to care, but still! I wish I were able to whip one up real quick, but it just ain't gonna happen. All i can wish is that when my mom comes and sees that baby boy has no stocking, maybe she will spoil him with one (wink wink). On top of all of the Christmas Chaos, the One And Only Wonder Boy is sending us a shipment of fresh King Crab from none other, Unalaska, Alaska. He was there doing his USCG stuff. Well, it was supposed to arrive today BUT I think Young Nasty Man intercepted our crab. It is safe to say that I am crabby, because I had no crab for dinner. Here I was thinking that I was getting out of making dinner because "we had crab coming!". How wrong I was! I was so sad. We ended up getting carry out because I refused to cook anything other than crab tonight:(. All I know is that I better see my box-o-crab waltzin' up the driveway tomorrow morning, or else I am going to go on strike, and my family will not get a hot cooked meal till the crab arrives. I don't think i have ever typed "crab" so many times in one place before.

I might not have received my crab, but I did get this! My Noro sock yarn!
I cannot wait to sink my fingers into these! Oh do I have plans! The Noro striped scarf has really got me thinking about a challenge. More on this later once I have wrapped my brain around what I actually want to do.

Despite all of the hectic-ness, I love this time of year. Something about the magic of the lights, and the calming of the snow, makes everything so shockingly beautiful. Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night.

OMG!

2007-12-03T19:06:00.000-08:00

This is HUGE news to me. Okay. Take.a.breath. Here.it.comes...

Just in time for the holidays, the sweet folks at WEBS bring us Noro SOCK YARN!

holy crap Batman!

AS IF I need another reason to buy more sock yarn! I just needed some folks to go down on the ship with me.

Hell Hath reached 0 deg C -- NEWS FLASH!

2007-11-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

As of 1600 yesterday, I finished my MS3! I am done with her, and she, me. Sadly, right now, she looks like a limp, pink, bead-studded blob. But as soon as I get my blocking wires, I will get 'er all stretched out the way she is supposed to be! I dragged that poor stole all the way home over the Thanksgiving holiday so I could work on it ... yeah, right, like that was going to happen. But still, my heart was in the right place.

Instead of working on my stole, I dragged my mom to The Knitters Mercantile. OH.MY.GOD. It was everything that I imagined, and MORE. I knew that they were the ones behind the Knitters Connection 2007 that was held in Columbus last June, so I had the feeling that they were no slacker store -- but wow, I was just awed. The nicest lady came up to ask if I needed help with anything, and I honestly told her that when I found my words again, I am sure I would have some questions for her. I was speechless. Now, this could be due to the fact that here, in Flatlandia, my main LYS does not have that warm and fuzzy feeling. And the selection, well it is just too hard to find anything. KM actually had Tilli Thomas hanging out that you could touch, and cuddle. I had never seen this yarn in real life. It's like looking at the Koala bear through the glass, compared to actually holding the bear in your arms.

yes. I bought yarn. A good haul too, if you ask me. It is all for the projects to come for the rest of this winter. For now though, to celebrate my project monogamy, I am going to reward myself with a beautiful, mind freeing project; Brooklyntweed's Noro Striped Scarf. I procured some Noro Silk Garden from Little Knits sale a few weeks ago, and I think that the color combination will be fab.

Oops! Oh craptastic ... I forgot to re-orient that photo. Considering how long it took to upload, I guess that is just the way it is going to stay.

2 balls #249 (main background color)
1 ball #246
1 ball #245

I hope that everyone had a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday; I am still coasting from the calories I consumed that night. Now that I am freed from the weight of lace (arrrr arrrr lace weight) I hope to be posting a LOT more often.

Bee and Flower say "Happy Halloween!"

2007-11-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Bee really enjoyed Halloween this year. As for Flower, well apparently, he was just humoring us, and came along for the ride. Clay has always been a "just go with it" child, but for some reason, he had an ATTACK when it came to putting on his bee outfit. He has had so few screaming fits, and I was really caught off guard by his reaction. I had NO idea what to do. As he stood there screaming, and I stood there staring at him, the whole scene started to strike me as hilariously funny. It took all of my power not to laugh at him while he was freaking out because the more the little bee flailed and ran in sobbing circles, the more the little bee antennae on the hood of the costume would violently bobble around; he honestly looked like a fat little crazed bee ... I had tears in my eyes from holding back the laughter. I finally convinced him that we were just "putting on his Bee coat because it is cold outside", and bang, that was it, he stopped in his tracks and was ready to go. That simple explanation made everything okay. Go figure.

It started to get dark while we were out trick-or-treating, and at one point he froze in his tracks looking at the sky. He had such awe in his voice when he looked at me and said "LOOK AT THE STARS! Mamma, Morgie, and Clay out at NIGHT! IN the DARK! Out in the DARK with STARS!!!!". It made my heart leap and melt. He has never been outside walking around at night. He has always seen stars through windows. This simple thing that we adults take for granted is all still so NEW to him. It was like he was completely blown away that something so spectacular and wonderful could happen to HIM. Forget the free candy, forget the bee coat! He was seeing the stars OUTSIDE in the DARK! The way he excitedly gripped my hand as we crunched through leaves as the wagon clattered along behind us was just purely exhilarating. This is the feeling that makes parenthood so rewarding. THIS is what it is all about.

I have been trying to get outside everyday because it will not be too much longer that our days will turn too cold and rainy to enjoy.
It has been clear and cold. In the early frosty morning air, you can feel winter starting to rise. We have been trying to get outside as much as we can. I have been slow to post because I have been kind of lost in the depths of my mind. It is fall, and when the air starts to cool, and the dampness of the night rains stay in the air through the cool mornings, I can smell the change in the air. I so love fall. The impossible colors of the morning and evening sky, the impossible colors of the trees. When these things start happening, and I am trying to take it all in at once, my mind goes internal, and i start thinking, and mulling. I get quiet, my mind grows calm, and rambling. Like a quiet little brook. Taking it's time to gurgle, and mingle amongst the rocks, moss, and leaves -- slowly slipping on, like it is taking it's good old sweet old time tasting every square inch of it's stream bed.
I don't know what brings this state of mind on. It borders primal instinct. The orange-ing of the pumpkins, and the reddening of the final tomatoes are just precursors to the change that is coming. Those warm, sunny afternoons when everything is warm to the touch, and yet the air is cool. It is like everything is nestling down, and getting ready for the long, cold sleep ahead. The trees had not yet started to turn, but they were *just* on the edge. It is like the trees were holding their breath untill the cold nip came ... then the sudden cold will made them sharply inhale, allowing the sap to start running back down into their roots. So fast, the suffocating leaves wonder what happened...leaving behind a palette that is simply breathtaking.

As I am still sluggish with the knitting news, I have been knitting, just not saying much about it. I will make up for this eventually, though. I have decided that this "intensive" post of fall photos will have to do. I say intensive just because there are a lot of photos, not because they are large files or anything. Until we get something faster than dial-up, I really have to scale down the size of my pics.

Happy Halloween (part 1)

2007-10-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

We are completely intrigued with a little gift G'ma & G'pa brought us...
It's a plug in, table top spooky house. It has a little witch on a broom that zooms around and around on the top. Clay says "look, it's mommy witch on Honda broom...". Yes, i had a little bit to do with the "Honda" part, but i think the rest is totally his.

And now for some truly spooky knitting news! I am now on the "Wing" part of my MS3. Yeah, I know ... finally. I really like the way it is looking, so let's keep our fingers crossed that I get this thing done sometime before Christmas. As I am still holding on to my "one project at a time" mindset (I know, why do I torture myself so?), I have been allowing myself to plan the next project i will dive into. I am thinking of embarking on some of Chuck's cabled Socks in the Kauni EV colorway and/or the Leavened Ragland in the Fall 2007 IK. I kind of slid off the proverbial "wagon" last week and accidentally enhanced my stash with some Noro Silk Garden last week (it was on SALE at Little Knits!), and some scrumptious sock yarn. The sock yarn I picked up on Etsy at Fearless Fibers. She has some beautiful stuff!

A moment of silence while we ogle together, please?

Fearless Fibers Superwash Merino
4 oz. / 550 yds.
Marrakesh colorway (left)
Inner Sanctum colorway (right)
(The picture was taken on the one spot of grass I did not kill this summer with the baby pool.)

Ah yes, and both so full of that beautiful squish-bounce feeling. Because of my little indulgences, I will not be purchasing the lovely Fiesta Kokopelli that the Leavened Ragland sweater is shown in - BUT, I will be giving it a go with some stashed Rowan Polar, that I think will have a similar gauge. I won't be sure though until I actually get my hands into the Polar and give it a good swatching.

I feel a small rant coming on...

You know, I have always liked Halloween. Bats, cats, smiling toothy pumpkins - it is all just so much fun! Halloween used to be so simple. A few maimed construction paper cut outs in the window, and a costume consisting of a black ski mask, black leotard with tights and wings made out of garbage bags were all you needed to do it up right. (Halloween also used to mean that it was cold outside, and trick-or-treating was done in the dark, yet, I digress). Recently though, I have been annoyed with the whole over-the-top holiday explosion. It now seems that Halloween has become yet another easy vehicle for stores to enable a frenzy of excessive, seamless, October through December buying, decorating, and waste. It 's like folks suddenly think that the more theme decorations you can cram outside (and inside) for each.and.every.holiday, the MORE you are into the holidays than EVERYONE else. I drive down the street and I am bombarded with yard atrocities that scream "Look at us! LOOK AT US! We have a yard so full of pumpkins and non-hardy mums that we look like we are running a U-Pick it farm! And our concrete geese are dressed in coordinating festive fall wool sweaters! Do we know how to do FALL right, or WHAT?"

M.I.A.

2007-10-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have been missing in action lately. My mind has been a lot of ethereal places, just not here. Honestly, it has been hard for me to decide what to write about. I will come up with a topic, wait till the kiddies are in bed, and then the 20 tons of bricks fall into my lap. There I sit there, vegetable-like, on the sofa, staring at yet another episode of Law and Order. I don't even LIKE Law and Order. But there I sit, glazed over - much like the doughnut picture in My Profiles.

I have been quite apprehensive about talking about my knitting, because I just don't know what to say. I have a severe case of knitters block. I feel completely seized up. I try to lunge into a new project, but there is a tangle of UFO's, yarn wants, yarn needs, and knitterly daydreams that hold me back. At the moment, I am just a stagnant, tangled thoughts mess. Just how many entries can I put "STILL doing MS3"? I am on row (gulp) 251. Good GOD. At this rate I will never finish. I love the pattern, I love the yarn, I love how the project is turning out -
I just HATE how little time I seem to have for it at the end of the day. I have been trying hard to keep my "one project at a time" rule going - especially while MS3 is on the needles. But it has been so hard for me! Now that fall is here, the nights are cool and the trees are changing - I have this deep urge to start working on warm, colorful, autumnal things.

I want to pick up some serious stranding, and do me up socks like Mel's, Chuck's Cabled Socks (GORGEOUS!)
I am so totally obsessed with wanting to make these socks. I have the pattern, I am about to purchase the yarn - so what am I waiting for? Well, I also want to make this, and this, and about three things from this. See what I mean? I just don't know where to start. I have all of these ideas, and I am bursting at the seams wanting to start them all, but they are all backed up in the bottleneck created by my beautiful Swan Lake Stole (MS3). I hate to say it, but this whole thing is kind of like being constipated. I want, I need, I HAVE to get it done ... but nothing is happening. I feel so guilty comparing this beautiful lace project to constipation. There has to be someone out there who knows what I am going through with this.

All of this on top of trying to plan knitted baby gifts for the NINE people that are due between October and April. NINE! Nine babies in seven months! That number might go up to eleven any day now (no, not me) but two of my friends. So far, I have finished one baby jacket for the baby due in 2 weeks. I will be photographing it on my youngest little guy later today, and i hope to be posting pictures of it here, and on Ravelry in the next few days.

Gasp. The doorbell ringeth - 'tis the postman!
Does he come bearing gifts of yarn,
knitting books,
non-buggy bread?
Let's go see,
shall we?

Day After Day...

2007-09-28T12:16:00.001-07:00

I was driving out to a play group the other morning
and I suddenly could not remember where I was supposed to be going.
This brain fart is brought to you by ... The Violent Femmes.
I think that I am going to blame this particular seize-up on the fact that I was singing along with
The Violent Femmes "Day After Day"...
I was having one of those being-in-college flashbacks
to how every Friday night, our first year, we would have an upperclassmen go buy us beer,
(OR the Sun Country or California Coolers in Peach or mixed berry)
and listen to our V. Femmes tape.
By the time the tape got to the song "Day After Day" we were WELL on our way to getting soused ...
Don't worry, be happy...
And then, we all would go out and party at Delt.

Later on in our second and third year we would have an upperclassmen go buy us beer.
We'd break out the "Grease" tape only after we had finished the beers
and were starting in on the vodka lemon shots ...
Hey SBGH's, these are for you--
"DO me Baby" - BilBivDevoe and "I wanna sex U up" - COlor Me Badd
THEN we all would go out and party at Delt.

Our forth, and last year, we were older, and so much more sophisticated.
We could buy our own booze.
We changed up the routine a bit by filling up our "Use, reuse, recycle" cups with a few shots of Vodka and took them down to the cafeteria with us.
Then we would fill the cups with orange juice at the juice machine.
We'd merrily eat dinner, drink screwdrivers, and then go back to the room to play Roxanne, Red Light ...
Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight!
THEN we would break out the grease tape and drink Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
THEN we all would go out and party at Delt, and maaaaybe SAE.
"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!"

Only later in my Graduate Career did we discover Boone's Farm Sangria --
we kept a bottle of it "at the ready" in our freezer for special occasions like
"Hey, I passed my dissertation proposal! " or
"Hey, I got my NSF funding for the summer field season!" and the best one
"Hey! I got the Fulbright Scholarship!
waaahooo, let's break out the BOONE'S!
Only the best.

yeah - so that is where my mind was when I suddenly "woke up" on a freeway in central Flatlandia, in a mini van, with two wonderful, chattering, squeaking babies ... and a bag full of a half knitted MS3 stole.

Funny how priorities, and definitions of fun, change.

Change
is
GOOD.

We are back up and running, for now.

2007-09-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

Just so you know I have not been ignoring you.
I have been trying to wade through, and catchup up with hundreds of e-mails sent to me over the past month+ that we had no computer, and no washing machine. August was a bad month for anything electronic in our home.
Yup, we blew yet another motherboard. Long story short, the computer people fixed it for free yet again
(we were one week out of motherboard #2's warranty expiration) but they refused to fix he problem that was CAUSING the mother f'ing boards to blow (!?!?!?). We got the craputer back, and took it to our own place here in town to get the power supply fixed. Now it is fixed, and now I am trying to catch up with the world.... oh, and the diagnoses with the washing machine? The fixit man said (and I quote) "ain't ever seen THAT happen before...".

Amidst those problems I had and unfortunate encounter of a food borne kind ... because I live in Flatlandia, the grocery store here in town that is NOT a Wal-Mart, decides that it is going to start ridding itself of diverse grocery products, and opting for the "highest payer for shelf space" products. This means that variety is now being replaced by products all from the same manufacturer/s. Where am I going with this? Well, let me tell you. A year ago they got rid of my favorite bread of all time Natural Ovens Bakery cinnamon raisin bread ... so we opted for the next best thing, "not-a-lot-of-crap-in-it" Roman Meal. I will be damned if now, the Roman Meal has disappeared from the shelves, and in it's shelf space was this new bread -- a new bread called "soft 'n' smooth". A bread with the name of a toilet paper should have tipped me off... it should have been a warning. ANYWAY, got said bread home, got half way through the loaf, and lo' and behold, this is what I found in my "soft 'n' smooth" the other morning...

niiiiiice, huh?

I think that this slice had more than only 2g of fiber, eh? OMG! Like, what the hell? You can see wings, and I swear that is the big old head....(shivers going up my spine).
Holy crap! I was this close [] to eating that! I was sticking this slice into the toaster and just happened to catch a glance of something funny on the bottom of the slice ... I called the Bread Company, and we are now sitting on a fist full of "get it for free" coupons.

And now a cute kid picture.

We are experiencing technical difficulties....

2007-09-21T13:23:00.001-07:00

And if I say to you tomorrow ...

2007-08-24T06:35:00.000-07:00

It has been a while now since I have written anything, but I have good reason I swear. This is the view from my rock. This is where I was hiding ...

Unfortunately, we had to come home a week early so that I can fly to California to be with my beloved family. They/we lost our brother way too soon. Oddly enough, this photo was taken hours before I learned of his passing. I had been sitting there since daybreak, watching the colors of the world change around me. My babies and husband were all snugly sleeping in the cabin, and the water stood vibrant, and still; everything, so deeply tranquil. Not even a breeze. The world seemed to be holding it's breath. Distant loon calls faintly echoed across the tree tops. A kingfisher suddenly came out of no-where and started diving and flying all around my tranquil spot; as if to say "hey lady, I can't wait all day, I got work to do here". I sat and watched him, thinking about how this bird and all of his ancestors have flown this lake for who knows how long. Although our lives are so short, the effects we leave upon this world (and other people) are everlasting.

Ernie, we all will miss you so much.

MS3

2007-07-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yey! I finally got my yarn last Friday, just in time for the 4th clue to be released! We were in the midst of planning the birthday extravaganza, so I was not even able to properly feel on my yarn until Sunday night. Wow. It was SO worth the wait! I was a little upset that it too so long to get here (almost 2 weeks to the day), but I think the lady deserves a little slack, because hey, laceweight wool was in such high demand due to the MS3! I cannot believe that I made was able to sign up for the MS3 before the cutoff date! I am always the last to know things, and how I was lucky enough to get in on this one I will never know. I am loving the pattern! Lovely Melanie at Pink Lemon Twist is the leader and creator of the whole MS3 phenomenon. It is so beyond me how anyone designs beautiful lace things like this! It 's like, trying to understand how astronomers figure out the logistics of landing a rover on a distant planet (that's like, basically predicting the future, right?). Well, to me, it seems that designing lace is kind of the same thing.

I took a picture of my progress so far (I am still on Clue #1), see Slow Bee Badge to the right. Kind of sad that the photo does not do it justice (you can't even really see the beads on it!), but I really dont feel like looking for a good place to take the picture. I am pressed for time already, as it is. I HATE frogging, so because of this, I am SUPER cautious. As you can see, I have stitch markers, and life lines out the wazoo!

Zephyr wool/silk in Cassia, on size 4 (3.5mm) Takumis

The is the first knit-a-long I have participated in, but I am really hoping that Melanie will have a MS4 for next year (hint hint, Melanie)!

Our birthday celebration went really well this weekend! We had a bit of fun with it this year and kept Clay's gifts a total secret. Once he went to bed, we set everything up outside. So, Clay went to bed with the backyard looking like this ....

and woke up to this ....

He was simply ecstatic!

I also tried my hand at making him a cake this year.

He LOVED the cake. Well, let me clarify that ... he loved the TOYS on top of the cake. This is the second year in a row that Clay was not interested in the birthday cake! Last year he sat and stared at it like it was going to rear up and bite him. This year he stared at it like it was some gooey lump getting in the way of him playing with his trucks. Oh well, considering that the cake was not all that tasty, he really did not miss much ;) Let's just say that the decorations rocked...the cake did not.

Where's my two dollars?

2007-07-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think the mailman is starting to think that I am stalking him. I am starting to feel like that paperboy in that classic 80's flick "Better Off Dead" .... "Where's my two dollaaaaaars? I want my two dollars!". Where's my yaaaaarn? I know that ALL of the yarn stores have been SWAMPED with orders for laceweight yarn ever since the MS3 KAL started, and I am trying to be patient and understanding. BUT I WANT MY YARN! It's going on 2 weeks since I placed the order.

I got the beads, I got the size 12 (!) crochet hook, and I have all of the charts taped together, marked out and ready to go. I am so ready to start this thing! Personally, I think they should call the crochet hook size a -12, because depending on who sized it, a "regular" size 12 hook is enormous. The hook needed for the MS3 (my -12) is a 1.00 mm hook. The other, more "common" 12 is almost a size L or M which is almost a cm in size.
Needless to say, I was really confused when the directions said to apply the beads to the laceweight yarn using a size 12 crochet hook. I was starting to wonder if the "beads" were supposed to be soda can ring pulls.

Must.not.obsess.over.yarn.
Must.distract.self.

Okay, how about this for distraction?
The Heathen Housewife has a contest going on this week! Let's go check it out!

At some point I am going to have to start photographing my FO's, UFO's and stash. That is going to be quite the undertaking, so I am just going to have to start slow, and post photos of the MS3 as I creep through it . I have not quite decided what this site is going to be about yet, but I suppose that will all come in time.

Well, I am off to go figure out what kind of birthday cake to make for the weekend. I cannot believe that my little boy is already going to be two years old! Perhaps the way I will privately celebrate his birthday for myself is by finally making some time to post his birth story on my Doula's web site. I almost cried at his first birthday because I was remembering how beautiful he was when he was born, and how beautiful that day was for me. I honestly believe that the birthday celebration is not only for the person born on that day, but it is also a small celebration for the mother that brought him/her into the world.

No Bitchin' Camaro for you ...

2007-07-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

I went to a particular web site this morning and signed my older son up in a Little Toy Car "VIP Club" that will hopefully keep him current with all of the popular, cool, and "hip" toy cars. 'Cuz we all know how important this is when you are a little boy and have a younger brother to impress.

You know which brand of toy cars I am talking about. Yeah, the ones we ALL played with. ANYHOOOO, I hesitated doing this because once these places get your information, you are through. Thing is, this little boy loves cars, so hey, why not let him have a little fun. Well, I figure now that they have my address I will probably start getting a TON of spam and toy junk mail -- but I know that if a piece of mail comes here with a picture of a car on it, well, my son will be ecstatic. So I sign up for this "service" and then find that this e-mail has been sent to me...

Thank you for applying to become a member of the "Little Toy Car" VIP Club. We are excited that you are a fan of "Little Toy Cars" and want to be part of this special group. We will let you know within one week whether or not you qualify. Thank you!

Whether or not I QUALIFY?
QUALIFY?
QUALIFY, MY ASS.

Man, I qualify so hard that they oughta just send us five free cars. Two for each of the boys, and one for me.
I'd like the Bitchin' Camaro, please.

I have TWO BOYS. What more do you need to meet up to their stringent Toy Car Club Membership standards? Thank goodness I did not tell them of my past history of accidentally letting the vacuum pressure in the SEM fall, so that for 12 hours we had to wait for it to stabilize again. (PHEW!) ... had they found THAT out, I am sure we would have been totally screwed! I had no idea that my past indiscretions could possibly affect my son's chance of being a part of the Little Toy Car VIP Club. Crap.

Niiiiice. Real nice.

2007-07-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

Me: Sweetie, what color are the leaves on the trees over there?
Sweetie: Black!
Me: Sweetie, what color are those pretty flowers?
Sweetie: Black!
Me: Look! There's a car! What color is the car?
Sweetie: Black!
Me: (sigh) How about the sky, what color is the sky?
Sweetie: BLACK!
Husband: Honey, what color are momma's teeth?
Sweetie: YELLOW!

Great. Maybe he does know his colors after all.