Out with the old...

So there I was at the store last night. We had TWO carts (one for each boy) and MAN was I through with shopping. As I stood there going back through my mental Roll-A-Dex, making sure I did not forget anything important -- like cake mix for the birthday party ... I remembered that I want, NEED a big pack of gum. Personally, I like those honkin' big Plen-T packs. Big Red, Wintermint, whatever -- just as long as it is a big chunka chunka pack that will last me. I like to keep one in the car, and one by the back door. I like to keep them handy for those not-so-fresh moments. I used to keep one next to my pillow...

ANy way, I am standing there, looking for the huge packs of gum. Not ONE in sight. I go to the other isle, not a one. So I get perplexed and wonder what has been put into their place. Little thin boxes of hard shelled, square gum "pillows". I don't want a freakin' Chicklet wanna-be, I want gum. You know, gum in a stick? That flat, bendy little ribbon of minty/fruity/cinnamon-y goodness? So I start grumbling, fidgeting, looking perplexed...and the lady behind the counted asks me "what are you looking for?". I tell her "gum ... you know, stick gum?". She looks at me, briefly puzzled, and says this...

"ooOOOooooh, you can find that over in the 70's specialty candy isle, with the little bags of Gold Rush (faux gum tobacco)..."

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Gum in stick form, along with Led Zeppelin, and The Eagles has become a "oldie but goodie"?

What? With carrying around iPhones, and Blackberries, and iPods, do people no longer have room in their pockets or purses for a big thing of gum? Was there not enough "gum bang" from the mere sticks? Were folks finding that they had to chew three or more sticks of that old-fashioned gum to get the BANG-o-Flavor that can be had from chewing one, new, very sheik, and engineered gum pillow?

How they hangin'?

I have been awake for at least an hour or two ... why? Because I kept dreaming that I had three kids. Thing is, the dream would be going along fine, because I would be doing things with my boys, but then, all of a sudden, I would remember "hey, wait ... where is my other child? Wait, did I have a boy or a girl? and what does it look like?" I would be completely panicking all through the rest of the dream trying to retrace my steps through Dream Land, trying to find my lost baby. And of course, Dream Land had its everyday annoyances, like, i came back through one area that Hubby and I had been picking up (in the dream), and he had thrown all of the kids toys into the garage because "well I said to get all the toys up off the floor in the living room". It was like, Hell Dream. Not only had I lost a child, but my husband was there annoying the F' out of me while I was looking for my baby! I then got so fed up in my dream that it "changed channels" and the next thing I knew i was dreaming that i was playing with Little Boy, and I heard crunching, and I looked over and Big Boy was eating a box of toothpicks, which were getting caught in his throat, and he started choking on them and was freaking out and not letting me hold him down so I could pull them out ... great dreams, those.

I was supposed to go out again tonight, and tomorrow night (this is such a rarity for me), but I think that I am going to have to bag out on one or both nights. If I go out all three nights in a row, there is now way in HELL that we will be ready to go to a funeral on Saturday and be ready to entertain family that I have coming through on Sunday. To be more correct, there is no way that I will be able to find clean clothes for myself for the funeral AND have the house cleaned for Sunday. Of course Hubby and the kids have nice clean clothes for a funeral. I could show up in what I wore last night (which was what I wore that day, AND the day before), and that is just about all I got right now. Fleece socks, birks, and my University Sweatshirt from 1991. I am wearing it right now BTW. I am so HAAAWWWWWWT that i give myself (and all others around me) heat stroke.

HOLY SHIT Angelina's boob's are HUGE (just saw them previewed on the That Morning "news" Show). I think they will be interviewing them later on in a segment. They said something about "Angelina's twins..." as the wide-angle lens camera panned over her. I just assumed that they would be talking to her tits. Just the kind of interview that I have come to expect from the That One Morning Show that I ranted about the other week. I sometimes miss my nursing boobs -- but I am so happy to be able to wear my cute little shirts without having to broadcast "I am an E, and 'E' stands for Enormous ... Here look at my constantly expanding BOOBS...". Did I ever tell you that the woman at the Big Bra Place actually brought an F into the changing room for me to try on, and I was so aghast with the idea that I wouldn't try it on? I was standing there thinking that E stood for Enormous, and F stood for F'ed UP.

Are YOU Abilified?

All I can say is WOW.

I saw their May 9th interview on the Today Show, and let me tell ya, the oldest child, looked a little shocked (gobsmacked, perhaps?) by the announcement.

oh, and one more thing ...
have you seen the commercial for the new drug Abilify?

Abilify? Abilify? REALLY? Are you kidding me? Is that the best they can do?
In my mind (and the amusement park that it is) I think the commercial for this drug should go something like this:

Voiceover: "do you find your daily tasks difficult to do because your pesky bi-polar self gets in the way?"

Scene cuts to a lady pacing the floor of an empty living room, having an animated, hand-waving conversation with the three other people in her head. She stops, looks at the camera, and suddenly smiles, as if she has an idea....

voice-over: Abilify can help!

As the voice-over rambles on about how the drug can cause bad breath, loose stools and bulging eyes, the scene cuts to the same lady, out and about shopping, talking on the phone, meeting friends for lunch ... she smiles, and laughingly says,
"Why, I feel so Abilified now! After taking it, Why I have not felt so Abilified in years!"
voice-over: So ask your doctor about what Abilify can do for you!"

same lady on a swing, swatting at invisible bugs says "I've been Abilified, how about you?"
man at a picnic table says "Abilify me!"
lady swinging an ax says "Abilify me!"

WTF? ABILIFY???

Since when do the drug companies get drug name ideas from words that our President probably uses?

"if we send more troops, this will Abilify us to attack the attackers ... "

KLG = going down hill, and FAST....

As I turned my head to address the 300th utterance of "can I have grrrrnola baaaaaar?" from my young son, I saw my favorite Blogstress on the TV screen! ANYWAY, I scrambled to turn up the volume. I was so excited to hear what she had to say to these Morning "news" Show folks. But OH MY GOD the train wreck that ensued after KLG opened her mouth! At the end of the interview, I yelled "WTF happened there?" and I scrambled to leave her a comment (Comments were closed - DAMN!). Ever since becoming a SAHMF'er (the MF'er part I learned from her, waaay back when) I have watched more than my fair share of That Show, and let me tell you, it has basically turned into a very pretty, yet putrified television swap meet. They get the products (or interviewees) set up all perfect and nice ... then the gun shot ... aaand they are off!

HOST: "Today, on This Show we are talking about things that are good for you but can also be bad for you at the same time, and we have Todd here with us to tell us about them."
--professional looking Todd waves politely to the camera
"So Todd tell us about this report I read that states that a person can actually DIE from eating too much fiber..."
TODD: "Well, that report came out 3 years ago and.."
HOST: "So you are saying that people who ate fiber 3 years ago could be dead or dying right now, as we speak? Really? (info-graphic at the bottom of the screen changes from “Fiber? Saint or Satan?” to read “You could be dying right now and not even know it!”). So who should those people contact if they find themselves, or even worse, if they find that their loved ones are dead or dying?"
--Todd, stammering, looking confused, and wide eyed, looks at the neat little table of fiber containing foods and struggles to block the memory of the host winking at him backstage, and tries to regain his thoughts...
TODD: "Well, as i was saying, the data show that the consumption of fiber does not necessarily lead to death, but..."
HOST: "So you are saying that if you buy organic fruits and vegetables, that is better for you? What if you drink fiber supplement drinks out of containers made of Number 5 plastic, instead of the Number 7 plastic, then are you going to live longer?" (insert a spazed out graphic and 5 second film clip of people exercising to Weird All Yankovic's "Eat It".
HOST: “WOW! Fascinating! Thank you for clearing this confusing topic up for us Todd! And on to a more somber note, in the next segment KLG and H will be will be discussing Quantum Theory Mechanics with Stephen Hawking...".

I wish she would have gotten to say more about what she does, and the positive effects her blogging has had on so many people. But positive, and coherent thinking have no good place on Morning News Shows, now do they? Oh well, at least she got to see the Green Room.

bzzzzzt

I have been putting together a post in my head for the past 3 weeks -- and at one point, I actually convinced myself that I had indeed posted it. Uuuuuuuh, no. Now I sit here, with more I want to say, but my brain idles, stalls, and starts flickering on and off like a failing fluorescent tube light.

I just got back inside from finishing several items from my mental to-do list, and once I sit and rearrange my mental "now what the f* needs to be done" list, I will be able to write more. I hope to GOD I will be able to write tonight, because if I go one more day, I will have too much to write, and the circular memory will kick in, and things will start getting written over.

(flicker ... flicker .... bzzzzzzzzzzzzt.....flicker ..... POP!)

No thanks...

Sorry, still no pics, as we are still in the midst of a data transition...

We have been sick in Chet Skeinsville for what seems like an ETERNITY. I feel like all I have done this whole winter season is wipe snot! And it never seems as though it is going to stop! OH! And to top of my pissy mood? IF I HAVE ONE MORE F'ING TISSUE GO THROUGH THE WASH, I AM GOING TO LOOSE MY F'ING MIND!
I had a pocket full of tissues go through the washer AND the dryer, on a dark load ... i cannot even START to tell you how bad I freaked out about it. I am still mad about it.

As E.B. put it : "I have been prostrated by the agony of the damned..."
Deadwood anyone? I have been watching it A LOT lately.

I have too many irons in the fire. I have some Etsy plans that need to start rolling,
I still have two more baby gifts to start, and I am trying to wrap up the Never Ending Baby Outfit.
I have been torn lately on what to do with the other 2 items I am planning to make. The person I am making the Never Ending Baby Outfit for is a new good friend of mine. She always LOVED the little outfit Big Boy used to wear, and I vowed to myself that I would make her one if she ever had another baby. My reasoning was this ... it is not that often that you find someone who REALLY appreciates, and ENJOYS hand made gifts.
I have not written about my recent knitting projects because my yarny foundation
has unraveled a little over the past few months.
I wanted to make 2 more little baby gifts for friends of mine that I have had for YEARS. The problem is this ... That beautiful BSJ i made for my cousin's baby? Never heard ONE WORD about it after I gave it to them.
It is one thing to hand a gift directly to a person, and have them thank you right there on the spot. But this gift was left with his parents to pass on to him. I know the gift was transferred to them too, because I asked his folks :).
I have heard nuthin'. Nada. If they didn't like it, fine, they didn't have to say "it is hard to say thanks because we hated the colors". A simple thank you would have been nice.
I have had this happen TWICE this year.

I don't think that my knitted gifts are so wonderful that they have to be put up on a pedestal,
under spotlights and glass. I also don't make these things and then set back and wait for the accolades to pour in. No, I make these gifts because I feel as though the stitches I form are bound together by love. So much of me goes into the items I make and give away!

The things that I make, I feel, hug that baby with the warmth and love I feel for that child. I constantly find myself let down because I would think that another person could at least see the specialness in what was made for them. This is why I am now trying to decide whether I should even "waste my time" on the two other gifts.
I am tired of getting my feelings hurt.
Sometimes I think that people have become so accustomed to getting
cookie-cutter-made-in-China-pieces-of-crap, that they don't really know HOW to receive something that they can't take back if they don't like it. I would have thought that I would at least get a "Thank You" via his parents had my cousin said "wow, that is nice she made this for us!"

I don't know what to do. I love making the baby things for those special little people, and this alone tells me that I should just go ahead and make the little things. But I get SO ATTACHED to what I make, and to the WHY I am making it, then my stinkin' feelings get hurt when I that little gem goes unappreciated. I wish I could just let the item go, and say "here's your gift ... DONE! Start next item in the queue, and I am gonna make something FOR ME this time!".

What the hell?

New on my list of rants this week:

Salmonella reported in Malt-o-Meal(AGAIN!)

How in the HELL is salmonella getting into a DRY cereal? And not only HOW is it happening, HOW IS IT HAPPENING AGAIN? I heard that the ones that they are recalling are puffed grains? What are the conditions in that plant that are allowing for this contamination?

I PARTICULARLY LIKE THE LIGHTENING BOLT effect. To me it says '"KAAAAABAAAAAAAM Malt-o-meal! STOP IT! STOP STORING YOUR CEREAL GRAINS THE WAY YOU ARE! p.s. -- see, I CAN strike twice..."

and another thing...

I got so mad at the tv weather dude this morning (I have not had my caffiene yet so I had to take the morning out on someone) and he was standing there in front of the radar screen saying "well as you can see there are some small heavy rain bands coming into the area.." as he dismissively points at a few fading green splotches on the screen between Skeinsville and Cowtown. Then he is acts all nonchalant as he start backing out of the screen to allow the 7 day forecast picture to pop up ... and as he backs up, his fat ass moves out of the way and uncovers a SOUTHERN FLATLANDIA- AND MISSOURI-SIZED ORANGE AND YELLOW REGION ON THE RADAR.... now, WTF is THAT? Isn't THAT something to be concerned about? Could he not see it because his FAT ASS WAS IN THE WAY? Shouldn't we have been told about that seething area of nastiness? I could give a crap about the sprinkles that are on their way, I want to know about the BIG STUFF that is likely to hit while I am wrangling the kids into, or out of the daily WalMart, Target, Meijer, shopping circuit. They are willing to tell us exactly how much rain they think we are going to get 7 days out, but when Armageddon is rolling up the prairie at us, they don't see it as something important?

Happy Halloween (part 1)

We are completely intrigued with a little gift G'ma & G'pa brought us...
It's a plug in, table top spooky house. It has a little witch on a broom that zooms around and around on the top. Clay says "look, it's mommy witch on Honda broom...". Yes, i had a little bit to do with the "Honda" part, but i think the rest is totally his.

And now for some truly spooky knitting news! I am now on the "Wing" part of my MS3. Yeah, I know ... finally. I really like the way it is looking, so let's keep our fingers crossed that I get this thing done sometime before Christmas. As I am still holding on to my "one project at a time" mindset (I know, why do I torture myself so?), I have been allowing myself to plan the next project i will dive into. I am thinking of embarking on some of Chuck's cabled Socks in the Kauni EV colorway and/or the Leavened Ragland in the Fall 2007 IK. I kind of slid off the proverbial "wagon" last week and accidentally enhanced my stash with some Noro Silk Garden last week (it was on SALE at Little Knits!), and some scrumptious sock yarn. The sock yarn I picked up on Etsy at Fearless Fibers. She has some beautiful stuff!

A moment of silence while we ogle together, please?

Fearless Fibers Superwash Merino
4 oz. / 550 yds.
Marrakesh colorway (left)
Inner Sanctum colorway (right)
(The picture was taken on the one spot of grass I did not kill this summer with the baby pool.)

Ah yes, and both so full of that beautiful squish-bounce feeling. Because of my little indulgences, I will not be purchasing the lovely Fiesta Kokopelli that the Leavened Ragland sweater is shown in - BUT, I will be giving it a go with some stashed Rowan Polar, that I think will have a similar gauge. I won't be sure though until I actually get my hands into the Polar and give it a good swatching.

I feel a small rant coming on...

You know, I have always liked Halloween. Bats, cats, smiling toothy pumpkins - it is all just so much fun! Halloween used to be so simple. A few maimed construction paper cut outs in the window, and a costume consisting of a black ski mask, black leotard with tights and wings made out of garbage bags were all you needed to do it up right. (Halloween also used to mean that it was cold outside, and trick-or-treating was done in the dark, yet, I digress). Recently though, I have been annoyed with the whole over-the-top holiday explosion. It now seems that Halloween has become yet another easy vehicle for stores to enable a frenzy of excessive, seamless, October through December buying, decorating, and waste. It 's like folks suddenly think that the more theme decorations you can cram outside (and inside) for each.and.every.holiday, the MORE you are into the holidays than EVERYONE else. I drive down the street and I am bombarded with yard atrocities that scream "Look at us! LOOK AT US! We have a yard so full of pumpkins and non-hardy mums that we look like we are running a U-Pick it farm! And our concrete geese are dressed in coordinating festive fall wool sweaters! Do we know how to do FALL right, or WHAT?"