Nov.6 -- Last Friday, I found a painful lump in my breast. Got a mammo that day.
Nov. 11 -- Tuesday morning i had a core biopsy done.
Nov. 13 -- Thursday morning, the results came back positive for Breast Cancer. IDC.
Nov 18 -- Tomorrow, I am scheduled for an MRI, and Friday I learn more about what we are dealing with. Took the BRCA1/2 genetic test yesterday.
By Friday we will know for sure what we are dealing with, surgery is slated for December 2nd.
I am 39, and my babies are only 4 and 2.5 years old.
They have estimated "It" is probably about 2 cm ...
I am scared beyond senseless.
I spend my days trying to hold it all together as I spin haphazardly through my "5 stages of grief".
I went through Rage yesterday. Depression again today.
Every single ache and pain I feel makes me freak out even more because I think "oh God, why is my back hurting? Has the Cancer spread there? And was that a twinge I just felt in my "ovary region"?.
I know I am not sleeping well at night, and our mattress totally sucks, both attributing to all of my stressed out aches and pains ...
I know I am rambling ... but as I sit here trembling, with tears streaming, i know, or I am hoping, that maybe someone out there knows how I am feeling.
I can hear that my babies are up and awake form their naps, but here I hide because I am afraid to go up there, where they will see the tears and terror in my eyes, and again ask me "What is wrong mommy? Why do you cry?".
